Sunday, July 28, 2013

Insight - Parenting By Kelly Mank

As parents of four kids, we are very, very busy. All four kids play sports, have friends, go to school, get in trouble and do all the normal kid things. Lately, I have had some parents asking me questions like:

Don’t you think you’re too hard on your kids?
Don’t you think you expect too much out of your children

How do you get your kids to be so good?

The way they have been raised has created well-behaved and well-mannered young adults and children. I don’t expect any more from them, than I expect from myself.

My husband and I raise our children to be independent, loving, caring and hard working. One day this will make them successful (whatever that means to them as individuals). This means my children do laundry, dishes, pick up after themselves, go outside and play rather than play video games, spend time with family, help with adult chores when appropriate, and help around the businesses when they can. My kids understand that hard work pays off with “fun playtime.” They also learn the more we help our community the better it will be not only for them but for everyone.

A few things that drive me crazy in today’s world… and I definitely don’t have my degree in education or child psychology, however…

• No grades, what happened to A, B, C, D, F? Why can’t I hold my kids accountable? A “meets” grade can be an “A” or a “C”. Really? I know this subject is going to be coming up more and more with changes in education, but really… healthy competition and accountability are two major things that build character and we take them away with this grading system. I am not okay with “average” and I will never allow my children to think “average” is acceptable. If they don’t strive to be “exceptional” then what do our children look forward to and what goals does this set for them?

• Not being able to say “No” to your kids… another one that I just don’t understand. I hate watching a kid go crazy in a store, or yell and scream at their parents. Why doesn’t the parent say “no” to this behavior? What are we teaching our kids? That it’s okay to not have respect for our parents or elders? Do we want them to think if they yell and scream enough they will get anything they want?

Those are just two of the simple things that make me a “bad” mom. If my children act out they have consequences and I will hold them accountable for the actions they chose to make. I don’t understand how taking away so many of the lessons my parents taught me are now deemed “bad”. Those are the lessons that got me to where I am today, and are missing with many of today’s parents.

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