Insight: Flaming chickens and angry bees

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

When you work as a journalist in Florida for any length of time, as I did, it’s a certainty that you will write more than your fair share of strange articles about some of the weirdest activities and events.

Not to say odd things don’t happen elsewhere, but Florida for me was a hotbed of unusual stories not commonly reported by newspapers in other states. There were articles published about Skunk Apes (a sort of cousin of Bigfoot with an odd odor), a guy in Miami high on bath salts who chewed off part of another man’s face, or a state law prohibiting singing while wearing a swimsuit.

Here are a few of many offbeat and peculiar stories I can recall from my time working for a newspaper there…

Late one night in 1995, a semi-truck driving south down I-95 near Viera suddenly jack-knifed and overturned when a passenger car swerved into its lane, spilling the contents it was hauling and leaking gasoline for a quarter mile onto the roadway surface. Following close behind, a second tractor-trailer truck also crashed at the site trying to avoid the first crash and spilling bales of freshly cut hay onto I-95.

A spark from the first truck sliding and scraping the asphalt caught the entire stretch of I-95 on fire and when news crews arrived on scene, it was reminiscent of what the inside of a malfunctioning oven might look like at KFC. There were thousands of whole frozen flaming chickens and ignited bales of hay burning to the bewilderment of Florida Highway Patrol officers who had barricaded traffic along the interstate.

Believe it or not, this was not the first such accident on a Florida thoroughfare involving the spillage of frozen chickens. Similar accidents involving trucks carrying frozen chickens have been reported through the years in Brandon, Jacksonville, and Escambia County.

About a mile or so south of where that crash occurred on I-95, I got to report on a different accident on the interstate and it created quite a buzz in the community in 2003.

I was driving north on I-95 to cover a high school tennis match when I received a phone call from an editor at the newspaper. She informed me that a truck with an open-bed trailer hauling eight beehives had overturned and traffic north on the interstate was at a standstill. She said a highway cleanup was underway and that they were letting traffic through on one lane, but she wanted me to stop at the accident scene and take photos for the newspaper.

After more than 20 minutes sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic approaching the accident site, I was able to pull over and take some photos of highway workers wearing Hazmat suits as they were removing broken beehives from I-95. A police officer told me that a swarm of more than 5,000 angry bees had left the scene when they escaped from the beehives following the accident.

The next day, I heard that the bees had traveled more than five miles to an apartment complex and residents living there were afraid as the angry bees divebombed them as they swarmed in the rafters of the apartment’s parking structure. Emergency crews had to evacuate people in those apartments, and some were forced to go to a motel for several days while the bees were captured and extracted from the apartment complex. And I later learned that one of those apartment residents forced to evacuate because of the bee invasion happened to be an ex-girlfriend of mine who was allergic to bee stings.

Around 2007, an unusual robbery and arrest was reported in Palm Bay, Florida. Apparently, a man entered a convenience store there, put a six pack of beer on the counter and asked the clerk for a pack of cigarettes. The clerk asked for the man’s ID to verify that he was over the age of 21 to buy the beer and cigarettes. As the clerk looked at the ID card, the customer pulled a gun and demanded that the clerk give him money from the cash register.

The robber was handed $40 by the clerk and fled the store carrying his six pack of beer. This was before video surveillance was widely used for convenience stores there. About 45 minutes had passed and police were at the convenience store investigating the robbery when the telephone rang behind the counter and a caller asked the clerk if he had found an ID card that he might have lost at the store.

Police suspected it was the robber and told the clerk to tell the caller to come by and pick it up before the store closed that evening. They moved their police cruiser behind the store and hid in the back room waiting for the caller to return and pick up the ID.

Within 15 minutes, the same fellow who had robbed the store walked in and wanted his ID back. On his way out of the store, he was arrested for armed robbery. You can’t make up stories like this and it’s only a small sample of what a typical news day is like there.

Andy Young: What I did on my vacation

By Andy Young

I attended public school for 13 years, then spent another six at a state university, and more recently have been teaching high school English for 22 more. All that experience qualifies me to state without fear of contradiction that students look forward to their April vacation almost as much as their school staff and teachers do.

Maybe that’s why the one-day mid-vacation course I took last Monday was so challenging for me.

Fairfield Prep, Don Bosco Prep, and St. John’s Prep are probably fine private schools, but they can’t be any tougher than Colonoscopy Prep.

A colonoscopy is something nearly everyone who doesn’t die in infancy or is run over by a bus as a toddler will be subjected to sooner or later. The idea is to maintain good colorectal health, which is vital for those wishing to avoid dying prematurely of something that’s generally preventable and/or treatable, if it’s discovered early enough. Undergoing the procedure seems daunting but it is far less gruesome than it sounds. However, given that it involves putting an instrument deep inside the undergoer’s body in a place where the sun will never shine, well, that’s a pretty low bar.

Most people find preparing for a colonoscopy unpleasant, although there are a few exceptions. Eccentric individuals who relish the thought of fasting for 24-plus hours, hearing aliens do construction work inside their stomach, and experiencing their own personal combination of the Johnstown Flood and Aug. 6, 1945 in Hiroshima will thoroughly enjoy preparing for a colonoscopy. But for everyone else, drinking a gallon or so of nasty-tasting liquid spiked with something designed to make most of their insides fall out is about as pleasant as shaving with a belt sander.

The procedure itself is utterly painless, thanks largely to anesthesia which removes the patient from reality for as long as necessary, plus another couple of hours. Not surprisingly, a person who has just undergone a colonoscopy must have someone else take them home after the procedure, given the temporarily compromised state of their physical and mental capabilities. An anesthetized person driving a car is potentially every bit as dangerous as a monkey wielding a chainsaw. The only difference: the monkey knows what planet he’s on.

How effective are the drugs I was given prior to undergoing my procedure last week? All I remember is being told to take the elevator (rather than the stairs) as I was leaving, then waking up from a nap in a chair at home a couple of hours later. I don’t recall any of what transpired between those two events, although my chauffeur/son Willie assures me I spoke to him like a reasonably lucid human being, albeit one who asked the same questions three or four times.

While getting ready for a colonoscopy is hardly anyone’s idea of fun, given the importance of staying alive, it’s a small price to pay. In fact, if I could somehow obtain a 100 percent guarantee that undergoing an annual colonoscopy would assure me of good health for the following year, I’d sign up for one every January 1, even though it would take a lot of the fun out of New Year’s Eve.

As a personal aside, I’d like to thank Mary, Lee Ann, Trina, and Cassidy for the role(s) they played during my recent trip to the gastroenterologist. That’s assuming those are their actual names, since as I have alluded to previously, my memory of the events(s) which took place that morning is somewhat foggy.

I’d also like to thank my chauffeur/son Willie for driving me home.

Assuming that’s his actual name. <

Insight: A Decade To Forget

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

Someone recently posted on a social media page that I follow about how much better life was in the 1970s. Having lived through that decade myself, I’d much rather be living today than go back to the way it was then.

Ed Pierce visits ancient Indian ruins at Chaco
Canyon in New Mexico in 1975.
COURTESY PHOTO 

First as a financially struggling college student, then launching a career as a journalist, and later as a member of the military, the 1970s for me were not the fun-loving disco dancing days people have come to associate with that decade. There was the Vietnam War, soaring inflation, gasoline shortages, and the minimum wage was just $2.50 an hour.

The 1970s was the decade of the Watergate Scandal, violent international terrorism attacks such as at the Olympic Games in Munich, Germany, and the introduction of video games to society.

Caller ID and telephone answering machines had not yet been invented. And there were only two ways to make a phone call, either from a landline tethered to the wall at home or in the office, or from pay phones, which were everywhere but have since disappeared in America.

To take a photograph you needed a camera with film to be developed or a Polaroid which could make prints in a matter of minutes.

There were no MP3s or earbuds for listening to music. There were stereo systems with vinyl records or cassette, 8-track, or reel-to-reel tapes. Since there was no Amazon or Spotify in the 1970s, many people visited a record store to purchase music, or they belonged to a mail-order service which shipped albums to them. Cassette tapes would sometimes come loose and needed to be rewound by inserting a pencil into the reel hole and twisting it in the other direction.

Pop-tops for cans of soda pop or beer had not hit the market. To open a can, you had to yank off an aluminum pull tab, which was often discarded as litter and stepped on at the beach as popularized in Jimmy Buffett’s hit song “Margaritaville.”

Television choices were limited to four live broadcast channels of either ABC, NBC, CBS or PBS, not the proliferation of options we have today. If you missed a program, you waited until the summer for it to show up in a rerun. There were no TV remotes back then. To change the channel, you had to get up from the couch and turn the television dial yourself.

Uber did not exist. It was an era where many would consider hitchhiking as a method to get from one place to another.

Fashion trends of the 1970s included platform shoes, leisure suits, flare jeans, mini-skirts, prairie dresses, tie-dyed T-shirts, maxi dresses, wide suit lapels and neckties, wide belts, hot pants, plaids, high waistbands, puka shells and love beads, tube tops, leg warmers, wrap dresses, headbands, safari jackets, go-go boots, large floppy collars, crop tops, halter tops, and the heavy use of synthetic materials such as nylon and polyester in clothing.

In home décor, shag carpeting was all the rage. Beanbag chairs and avocado or copper-colored appliances were popular choices for homeowners. Many kitchens contained cannisters with a mushroom motif.

Cigarette smoking was permitted on airplanes and in restaurants and passage of the 25th Amendment in 1971 meant adults could register and vote at the age of 18.

Popular 1970s fads included mood rings, pet rocks, streaking, waterbeds, tetherball, CB radios, jogging, roller skates, blacklight posters and lava lamps. Popular dance steps of the 1970s included the Hustle, the Bump, the Funky Chicken, the Robot, the YMCA, and the Bus Stop.

Frequently appearing on the most magazine covers in the 1970s were Farrah Fawcett, Lauren Hutton, David Cassidy, Leif Garrett, Cheryl Tiegs and Michael Jackson.

Streets and highways were filled with AMC Pacers, Hornets and Gremlins, Dodge Chargers, the Chevy Vega, Range Rovers, the Mercury Capri, Ford Mavericks, the Buick Riviera, Volkswagen Golfs, Plymouth Dusters, the Pontiac Trans Am and Datsun 240Zs. New automobiles sold in the 1970s did not come with seatbelts and bench seats were still available in many models.

The movement to create equality for women in pay, housing and credit led to the introduction of the Equal Rights Amendment in 1972 to ensure gender equality across America, but that measure failed to receive ratification by two-thirds of the U.S. states by 1979 and never was enacted. A different type of blow was struck for gender equality though when Billie Jean King trounced Bobby Riggs in a televised tennis match billed as “The Battle of the Sexes” in 1973.

Candy sales skyrocketed in 1976 when Pop Rocks were first introduced and the 1970s also marked the debut of Hamburger Helper on supermarket shelves across the U.S. Without the benefit of scanning and barcode technology which came around much later, all items in the grocery store had a price sticker so a cashier could ring you out at the cash register.

As the 1970s began, I was still in high school and by the time the decade ended, I was fully entrenched in a career that continues to this very day.

While the decade of the 1970s proved to be a turning point in my life, I greatly prefer the era we live in today.

Andy Young: An invigorating, infuriating freakin’ walk

By Andy Young

It was the eminent Greek physician Hippocrates (c. 460 – c. 370 BC) who eloquently said, “Walking is man’s best medicine.”

I agree.

Around here the last piles of winter snow have disappeared. Birds are chirping, plants are sprouting, and hours of daylight are increasing. Going for a walk on a sunny, 50-degree April day is like being reborn.

Maybe the best thing about walking at this time of year is all that’s visible. Naked forests hide little and since few trees will become fully leafed for another several weeks, rural streets, lanes, and paths take on a whole new look when viewed by even moderately observant strollers.

Spring walks reveal things that will be invisible a month from now. Old buildings located deep in the woods which go unseen during the summer come into clear view in late April, as do small animals, blossoming vegetation, and babbling brooks.

Unfortunately, there’s a downside to spring walks as well, an all-too-common sight that reveals a troubling slothfulness, narcissism, and disregard for their surroundings on the part of a small but odious portion of the population.

Freakin’ litter.

On a beautiful Saturday morning not long ago, I strode down to the post office to mail a pair of packages, lugging them there in a cloth shopping bag, since that was more convenient than carrying one under each arm for a trek of just over a mile. Once that errand was completed, I tucked my now-empty bag into a jacket pocket and continued down Main Street.

Shortly after passing the library, I spied a discarded bottle, one which had once contained 16 ounces of imported beer. Feeling public-spirited, I grabbed it and deposited it into the cloth bag I extracted from my pocket.

Perhaps 50 yards later. I picked up two more discarded cans. Less than a half-mile further my bag was filled to the brim with bottles, cans, and similar freakin’ rubbish.

Filling a bag with trash in under a mile of walking was disheartening. Even more discouraging: I could have filled four or five more bags with the bottles, cans, and fast-food detritus I didn’t pick up. And since I had only walked on the left side of the road, it’s reasonable to assume a similar amount of refuse had been tossed onto the other side, although since I didn’t feel like dodging traffic going by at 45 mph, I don’t know that for sure.

What exactly is gained by heedlessly scattering debris? I’ve never met any pro-littering advocates. The reason, I suspect: most decent human beings recognize the random strewing of trash for what it is: an act of laziness, selfishness, and freakin’ disrespect.

There are allegedly penalties for this inexcusable offense, but has anyone ever paid a fine for littering? Really; who waits for a law enforcement officer to drive by before tossing the cup containing the remainder of their Big Gulp out the window?

There are currently numerous complex issues facing America and the world for which no easy solutions exist, including immigration, the environment, the economy, education, affordable housing, corruption, human trafficking, cybersecurity, arms control, global health, corporate greed, sourcing affordable energy, and food insecurity, just to name a baker’s dozen.

But solving the littering problem is easy, all it requires is having each individual to properly pick up after him, her, or their self.

Hippocrates was right; walking is the best medicine. But effective medicine is needed now more than ever, because given the state of Earth’s perpetually deteriorating environment, littering (of all kinds) is arguably one of mankind’s deadliest poisons.

Oh, and one more thing.

Happy freakin’ Earth Day. <

Insight: Unforgettable friends and memories

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

Growing up in the 1960s, I learned the invaluable lessons of friendship and the benefits of positive role models from an older couple that we would go to visit every Friday evening.

Marge and Bob Bartlett were close to our family and after supper at the start of each weekend, my father would drive us to their home, and we’d spend several hours with them. My mother first met Marge when she became a babysitter for their oldest son Jimmy and through the years their friendship grew. My sister was the same age as Marge and Bob’s youngest son, Kenny, and visits to their home became sort of a ritual for us on Friday nights.

Bob Bartlett worked as a glassblower for Eastman Kodak Company and had a garage he converted into a workshop behind their home. Sometimes during the summer months, he would take my brother and me out there as he made glass paperweights or Christmas tree ornaments. Once, he helped me make a glass bird with a long neck that would dip its head as the temperature changed.

Bob had a silly sense of humor and was able to pull off the best impression of Yogi Bear I have ever heard. To this day I can still hear him imitating Sergeant Schultz from television’s “Hogan’s Heroes” or comedian Bill Dana’s classic line “My name is Jose Jimenez.”

Marge was a devoted mother to her two boys and inspired them both to attend college and to follow their dreams. Both sons were successful as Jimmy became a broadcaster working in radio in Boston for a station owned by sportscaster Curt Gowdy and then a television anchor for WMUR-TV in Manchester, New Hampshire. Kenny obtained a real estate license and eventually owned his own company in Texas before retiring.

A visit to the Bartlett home was always the highlight of my week. Each of them would ask me questions about what I was learning about in school, how my favorite sports teams were doing, what I was reading, or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Bob would always seem to have a roll of Lifesavers candy in his pocket, or he’d pass me a piece of Bit O’ Honey as we watched television in their living room.

Upon arriving each time at their home, Marge would bring our family into her kitchen and offer us a piece of cake she had just baked which was sitting on the counter. My favorite was her frosted orange cake and what I wouldn’t give today for a slice of it again.

After we finished eating the cake, Marge would point to the refrigerator freezer and ask if we wanted a Borden’s ice cream cup. They were small servings of vanilla ice cream with either chocolate sauce or strawberry jam on the bottom. They even came with their own wooden disposable serving spoons.

Year after year, my brother and me would sit in front of the Bartletts’ RCA console television set watching episodes of Rawhide at 7:30 p.m. followed by Route 66. When both of those programs were canceled, we would watch “The Wild Wild West” at 7:30 and “Hogan’s Heroes” at 8:30 p.m.

As my brother and I sat and watched television, we were always joined by Marge and Bob’s overweight beagle named Thumper. He waddled from side to side when he walked and had a distinctive yelp when somebody knocked on the door.

My mother and father would sit in the kitchen with the Bartletts during our visits and drink coffee and talk or have some of the cake that Marge would have on hand every week. They were usually joined by Marge’s widowed mother, Sue Coleman, who lived in an addition that Bob had built off the back of their home.

It was always fun, always positive, and always an enjoyable experience to visit with such uplifting people who genuinely cared about us.

While I was serving in the Air Force in Arizona in 1982, my mother called to let me know that Bob Bartlett had suffered a massive heart attack and had died at the age of 55. Not long thereafter, Jimmy Bartlett also died of heart disease at an early age.

In 2001, I was going to fly from Florida to Rochester, New York to attend my 30th high school reunion. Kenny Bartlett called and asked if I would stop and visit his mother Marge and encourage her to move into assisted living. She was in her 90s and was hard of hearing. He was worried because during a fire at a home behind her, she slept through it and didn’t hear the fire trucks.

I did visit her, and she declined to enter assisted living. She said she had lived in her home for 65 years and wasn’t going anywhere. She also offered me an ice cream cup from her freezer. Three years later, Marge flew to Texas for the wedding of her granddaughter and passed away in her sleep there.

We become the people we are because of significant influences in our lives, and I was blessed to have such wonderful friends while growing up.

Andy Young - Enough already; I confess!

By Andy Young

I owe northern New England an apology.

I’m the one responsible for the recent power outages, the sore snow-shoveling muscles, the non-working phones, the absent internet, the spoiled frozen (and refrigerated) food, and related misfortune(s).

I realize I’m putting myself at great personal risk by revealing my culpability. But if I take credit for everything I’ve accomplished so far in my life, like winning the Academy Award, the Nobel Peace Prize, and the Olympic Decathlon gold medal, well, it’s only fair that when I’m at fault for something, I own up to it.

I have a friend in Arizona who cannot understand how anyone can live year-round in frigid Maine, which he and his equally ignorant friends refer to as “East Alaska.” But that’s okay; I don’t understand how anyone can live year-round in a parched, oven-like state which my equally ignorant friends and I refer to as “North Hell.”

I gleefully called him a month ago to boast about our incredibly mild, just concluded (or so I thought) Maine winter. Generally, he’s the one calling me sometime in early March, right after I’ve shoveled another foot of snow off the driveway at 4 a.m. so I can get to work on time. And when he does, he really lays it on thick, describing the difficulty of enduring their frigid, humidity-free 55-degree nights.

But he knows he’d better razz me while he can, because come summer, which arrives around May Day down there, I’ll be giving as good as I got. I’ll tell him about needing a sweatshirt to stay warm on our chilly, humidity-free 55-degree evenings, and how difficult tolerating daytime temperatures that sometimes rise to a stratospheric 75 degrees can be. I imagine him, sweating like a bear, gritting his teeth during our summer chats the same way I do when he calls in mid-February to inform me that he’s outdoors wearing a red tank top for Valentine’s Day.

But this year’s unusually mild winter gave me the chance to get the jump on our annual climate-related conversations. I called to let him know that all the snow, including what always accumulates at the bottom of the driveway thanks to the town plow and my endless shoveling, was completely gone on March 12! Not only that, the only three times I used the shovels all winter was for pushing broom-style, rather than for any actual lifting and throwing. I also alluded, none-so-subtly, to the coming six-month heatwave looming for him and his fellow knuckleheads in the Valley of the Sun.

Apparently, that’s where I went wrong. I’d offended the Karma gods before, but on those occasions the only person whose backside got bitten due to my indiscretion was me.

But evidently, I went too far this time, and we’ve all seen the results. We’ve lost power in my neighborhood on three consecutive weekends, and it’s likely the last of the snow piles at the end of the driveway won’t disappear before May 1. And just in case I hadn’t figured out it was my crowing about our mild winter that was responsible for all the recent weather-related misfortune, I got irrefutable confirmation last Thursday when, during one of its multiple runs up and down our street, the town snowplow knocked over just one mailbox.

Mine.

I can’t undo the damage I’ve done, but I’m determined to signal the karma gods that I’ll never displease them again. I’m just trying to figure out how to get their attention. I’d try waving a white flag, but given all the snow still on the ground, I doubt they’d be able to see it. <

The Rookie Mama: A rolling milestone gathers no moss

By Michelle Cote

As technology evolves at full speed, it’s challenging at times to occasionally tap brakes, regroup, and consider what we’re dropping from existence as we gather new tech nuggets at the fastest possible pace, especially as we compare our kiddos’ day-to-day experiences to the lives we led at their age.

It’s a little different, right?

I mean, I learned about a googol in my classroom, and that was the extent of my Google Classroom.

But I digress.

There’s beauty in the quick share of a snapshot via social media or text message in the moment for the moment’s sake, but truly how great a job are we collectively doing to document our family’s lives and progress meaningfully in a way that’s captured for future generations to appreciate?

I can appreciate contextualizing the hairdos, clothing styles, and décor of my grandparents’ generation because I’ve seen photos to accompany the stories and traditions – finest crystal stemware at Christmas laid out on TV trays so all the relatives could gather and tuck in tight. The pink double oven peeping out in the background by the avocado fridge in the kitchen. I’ve seen it in living color.

We’re ages past 8mm film reels, VHS, and Polaroids, but they’re tangible, albeit fading in a corner pocket bin of your basement. They still exist for our appreciative purposes now.

My own childhood milestones were spared the social media audience commentary, but they exist in all their ‘80s and ‘90s neon scrunchie glory in carefully assembled photo albums, some lucky to be labeled by year. Tangible.

But it appears my own uniquely unidentified generation – sometimes we’re called ‘young Gen X’ or ‘elder millennial’; we’re really the early ‘80s-born group with an analog childhood and digital adulthood – may be the last one to have physical photo albums, unedited, unplugged, not kept alive by some remote server.

So therein lies the need for continued meaningful documentation.

And I’m not trying to start an archival rival; digital and print photos can –and should – co-exist.

About a decade ago, when my first two boys were babies, my husband and I felt it was important that they each have tactile photo albums of their own beyond a baby book with day-of-birth news clippings, first haircut golden locks, and hospital bracelets.

A little bit of a high five and fist bump to my future daughters-in-law, if you will, so they have a bit more to our boys’ origin story than a hairy baby book to show for it.

My husband and I were thrilled to learn that physical photo albums – you remember, the leathery-looking binder ones with magnetic sheets – still, in fact, exist and are super easy to order online.

And although young adults today don’t know the agony of sending out film overnight and taking a gamble whether that 24-shot roll is worth ponying up for the duplicates, one can still print photos to their heart’s content at many places, easily.

And so, we began a tradition of scrapbooking with our kids at each summer’s end – Each boy has a photo album with clean, blank sheets and is given a big ol’ stack of printed photos reproduced from uploading digital snaps.

We give them scrapbook scissors to make crafty edges for prints, paper, and markers to illustrate favorite memories and quotes of summer, ticket stubs, bits of maps, and over-the-top supervision by us.

Did I mention there’s scissors and precious photos involved?

Theoretically, we sprang into this tradition so the boys could have some autonomy into their own photographic journeys over time.

What we didn’t expect was their intermittent nostalgia for occasionally pulling albums off the shelf to flip through, laughing and reflecting fondly at past summer core memories.

Because my kids aren’t on social media, they can’t swipe through old memories the way we adults do.

How will they document their memories to share with their own future humans if we don’t facilitate this?

How will they memorialize people, events, their own versions of the pink and avocado color schemes and crystal stemware on TV trays, 21st century version?

We want them to remember.

Everyone should have the opportunity to really remember these milestones that took place as they rolled on by.

So put it in print.

Keep documentation in mind as you plan your next family adventure with your camera ready at the quick draw.

Enjoy this scrapbooking activity that’s inclusive, generally frugal, endlessly crafty, and strengthens memories and family bonds.

The neon scrunchies are optional.

What story will your kids tell?

­­– Michelle Cote lives in southern Maine with her husband and four sons, and enjoys camping, distance running, biking, gardening, road trips to new regions, arts and crafts, soccer, and singing to musical showtunes – often several or more at the same time!

Insight: A dream come chew

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

I can’t remember the last time that I purchased chewing gum and it’s not surprising to me that many popular gum brands from when I was a child are no longer sold.

Fruit Stripe chewing gum will
no longer be made after more 
than 60 years n the market in
America. COURTESY PHOTO 

Back then, every time our family would go to the grocery store, I’d ask my parents to buy me a package of Mini Chicklets, Dentyne or Bazooka bubble gum from the section displayed near the checkout register. I never kept the tiny Bazooka Joe comics included with the gum, but I imagine they would be worth more now than the pennies I paid for the bubble gum pieces way back when.

No one in our family bought chewing gum on a regular basis, but occasionally a pack of Wrigley’s Juicyfruit, Spearmint or Doublemint gum would find its way into my mother’s purse, and she’d hand my brother and I a stick to chew in the car during a Sunday excursion to visit relatives.

Most of the chewing gum I see now are tiny pieces of Dubble Bubble gum in neighborhood children’s Halloween bags, but decades ago, chewing gum was everywhere and a thriving industry in America with commercials promoting gum products on television, in magazines and on radio.

Recently I read an announcement from the Ferrara Candy Company that after 60 years, it was discontinuing production of one of my childhood favorites, Fruit Stripe gum. Originally introduced in the early 1960s by Beechnut, Fruit Stripe gum was colorful and offered zebra-striped wrappers for orange-striped, cherry-striped, lemon-striped, lime-striped, and blueberry-striped gum.

Marketed in distinctive red and white packaging, Dentyne contained eight small pieces of gum that supposedly was created to sweeten your breath and keep teeth white. It was always a sponsor of American Bandstand on Saturday afternoons as host Dick Clark would hawk the product to teenagers looking to enhance their appeal to the opposite sex. Now Dentyne is sold in Fire, Ice, and Sugar-Free flavors and the original flavor hasn’t been made since 2019.

Part of the appeal of chewing gum for me was always to cram as many pieces into my mouth as possible. I can recall driving on a two-lane highway between Phoenix, Arizona and Socorro, New Mexico when I was in the U.S. Force and chewing two entire packs of Big Red gum in my mouth at the same time.

Another time I remember putting the entire package of shredded Big League Chew grape-flavored bubble gum in my mouth while playing right field in a league softball game in the 1980s. When a towering fly ball was hit in my direction, I removed the wad of gum and threw it into the grassy field beyond the outfield’s chainlink fence. It probably is still there and resembles a used softball some 40 years later.

As a baseball card collector growing up, I never liked the residue left on baseball cards by the hard-as-a-rock piece of bubble gum included with the packages of players depicted on the cardboard cards. Years later, that residue is still evident nationwide on many cards remaining from the 1960s and 1970s, significantly lowering their potential value.

When I asked my father how animal trainers made the mouth of the horse move on the TV show “Mr. Ed” or the chimps on “Lancelot Link, Secret Agent,” he said they gave them bubble gum to chew.

Nostalgic trips examining the old-fashioned candy display at Cracker Barrel usually turns up 5-stick packages of D.L. Clark’s Teaberry, Black Jack, Clove, and Beemans chewing gum flavors. Teaberry gum was promoted extensively in the mid-1960s with commercials featuring my father’s favorite Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, who performed the song “The Teaberry Shuffle.”

Along with the demise of Fruit Stripe gum, longtime best-selling brands such as Beechnut gum and Freshen-Up gum have been discontinued in the past decade, and my lack of gum purchasing may be an example of a larger trend worldwide. As more people try to limit sugar or artificial sweetening intake for health reasons, chewing gum sales are slipping.

That’s probably welcome news for school janitors and anyone who cleans movie theaters, picnic tables, handrails, and escalators. Years ago, the underside of school desks was the preferred disposal site for a wad of chewing gum when teachers would ask for it to be removed during classes. And the floors and armrests of darkened theaters no longer seemed to be mined with sticky spit-out used chewing gum.

Lately the trend for gum manufacturers seems to be selling slow-release flavored gums with brands such as Extra, Orbit and Ice Breakers dominating national sales. Orbit commercials have recently featured a British-accented woman promoting the product as something in stylish packaging to “get rid of dirty mouth.” And sales are expected to rise this week for the appropriately named Eclipse gum, which comes in four flavors including Peppermint, Spearmint, and sugar-free flavors of Winterfresh and Polar Ice.

Researchers say that chewing gum sales in America fell dramatically during the COVID-19 pandemic and demand by consumers has yet to resurface. Last year gum sales only rose 1.2 percent and the chewing gum market worldwide remains down more than a third of pre-pandemic days.

Perhaps makers of chewing gum just need to stick to it.

Andy Young: Eclipsing the big event

By Andy Young

Every so often, an impending happening catches the imagination of the public because of its extreme rarity. And just such an occurrence, which has a large swath of America quivering with anticipation, is scheduled to take place this coming week.

From left, actors Gene Hackman, Shelley Duvall and  Kurt 
Russell were all born on a Perfect Multiple Day.
COURTESY PHOTOS 

Of course I’m referring to this Saturday, because it’s one of the rarest of rarities: a Perfect Multiple Day (PMD)!

April 6, 2024, when abbreviated in numeric shorthand, is 4-6-24. This Saturday the number of the month (4) multiplied by the number of the date (6) yields a product that is the last two numbers of the year (24). It goes without saying that this sort of situation doesn’t arise every day. It hasn’t happened since way back, well, last month, on March 8. But before that it hadn’t occurred since … February 12. And one other time this year, on January 24.

Currently a first glance at PMDs may seem somewhat underwhelming, particularly since there will be three more such days this year, on June 4, August 3, and December 2. But those pooh-poohing the significance of PMDs should acknowledge that 2024 is the only 21st century year that will contain as many as seven such days. In fact, only six other years contain even a half-dozen of them: 2012, 2030, 2036, 2048, 2060, and 2072.

Now consider that 23 of the 21st-century years have just one PMD in them (2098, 2095, 2093, 2092, 2091, 2087, 2085, 2076, 2069, 2068, 2065, 2057, 2051, 2049, 2046, 2039, 2038, 2034, 2029, 2023, 2019, 2017, 2013), and 21 more (2037, 2041, 2043, 2047, 2053, 2058, 2059, 2061, 2062, 2067, 2071, 2073, 2074, 2079, 2082, 2083, 2086, 2089, 2094, 2097 and 2100) contain none at all!

The 21st century will ultimately encompass 36,524 days, but only 211 of them are PMDs. That’s just 0.57770233271 percent of the century’s days. PMDs might not be as rare as Detroit Lions Super Bowl appearances, but they’re certainly close.

Actors Gene Hackman (Jan. 30, 1930), Shelley Duvall (July 7, 1949), and Kurt Russell (March 17, 1951) were all born on a PMD. So were accomplished musicians Toni Tennille (May 8, 1940) and Neil Sedaka (March 13, 1939), as well as former Italian prime minister Giuseppe Conte (Aug. 8, 1964).

Some no-longer-extant notables born on a PMD include former United States Secretary of State and White House Chief of Staff Alexander Haig (Dec. 2, 1924), Baseball Hall of Fame member Ernie Banks (Jan. 31, 1931); authors Leon Uris (Aug. 3, 1924), Arthur Hailey (April 5, 1920) and Peter Benchley (May 8, 1940); actors Dennis Weaver (June 4, 1924), and DeForest Kelley (Jan. 20, 1920); singer Ricky Nelson (yet another May 8, 1940 baby), and lawyer/sire of celebrities who are famous for being famous Robert Kardashian (Feb. 22, 1944).

I for one feel awfully lucky to be alive during the most PMD-heavy year of the 21st century. And even if these dates do occur slightly more often than other relatively rare events, there’s no doubt that PMDs are a lot more exciting than other commonplace, more ordinary things people make a big deal over every so often.

So, what is there to learn from doing all this research into PMDs? Not much, aside from the fact that if one wished to bear a child that would become accomplished in their field(s) of choice, May 8, 1940 was a good day to do it. (And for those looking ahead, the same will likely apply to May 8, 2040.)

But by now any sensible person should admit that PMDs are far more interesting than mundane occurrences like Halley’s Comet sightings, worldwide pandemics, or solar eclipses. <

Barbara Bagshaw: BEP takes a U-turn on EV

By State Rep. Barbara Bagshaw

Extremists trying to turn Maine into California suffered a major setback this past week when the Board of Environmental Protection reversed its initial vote to adopt the electric vehicle sales mandate known as the “California Rule” and voted 4-2 to cease rulemaking on the controversial measure.

State Rep. Barbara Bagshaw

Had it been adopted by the seven-member, unelected board, the mandate would have required that 51 percent of new car sales in Maine be comprised of EVs by model year 2028 and 82 percent by model year 2032. This despite only one percent of consumers currently choosing to buy electric cars.

I am not against electric vehicles, it should be a consumer choice, not a government mandate that regulates lower cost, gas-powered vehicles out of existence.

Legislators are now in the process of closing the statutory loophole that allowed 150 extremists to initiate adoption of devastating rule of this kind by the BEP without a vote from the legislature.

Bill to Require Legislative Approval for New Motor Vehicle Emissions Rules Passes Committee

Following the 4-2 vote by Maine’s Board of Environmental Protection turning down a proposed electric vehicle mandate, a bill to require legislative approval for such changes was passed unanimously out of Committee. LD 2261 will require that rules regarding new motor vehicle emission standards, including rules to establish zero-emission requirements, are “major substantive” and must be approved by Maine’s Legislature.

I am hopeful this bill will become law. Major decisions of this kind need to include the public directly, or through their elected representatives.

Maine’s voice in presidential elections may be reduced

The Electoral College is a constitutional provision that ensures that small states, like Maine, have a voice in selecting the President of the United States. Because of that provision, Maine has received attention from presidential candidates. A move to circumvent the Constitution by surrendering Maine’s voice through an interstate compact is underway.

The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, if approved by Maine lawmakers, would award the state’s four electoral votes to whichever candidate garners the most popular votes nationwide, irrespective of who the majority of Mainers voted for at the ballot box.

That means that if Mainers voted for a different candidate than the candidate winning the national popular vote state electors would be bound to vote for the popular vote winner. The votes of large states with major cities like California and New York would dominate at the expense of smaller, rural states.

This proposal has the potential to create national chaos in our court system, especially if there is a recount in any of the states.

Dismantling the genius architecture of the Constitution one piece at a time should not be supported at the expense of Maine or our country. As your legislator I am bound to protect the interests of all Maine voters and I pledge to do all I can to stop the erosion of our rights and constitutional protections. I have been contacted by many scholars, friends, and constituents who feel strongly about this. The legislature must carefully consider protecting Maine’s 4 electoral votes from theft by large, urban states.

Participate in the Maine State Legislature’s Honorary Page Program

One of the legislative responsibilities that I enjoy the most is the opportunity to expose citizens, especially young people, to the history and beauty of our state capitol.

If you know of someone that is interested in touring the State House, please let me know. We also have a Maine State Legislature’s Honorary Page Program!

When the House is in Session, the Honorary Page Program provides students an opportunity to participate in the legislative process and to interact with legislators. Students from elementary through high school are invited to serve in the House Chamber as Honorary Pages.

Under the supervision of the Sergeant-At-Arms and Chamber Staff, Honorary Pages have the opportunity to see what it is like to work on the floor of the house. Pages perform such duties as delivering messages to Legislators and distributing Amendments and Communications in the chamber. For more information, please call my office at 207-287-1440.

Help become the change Maine needs

If you don’t like what you’re seeing, if you feel that government serves every interest but yours, I urge you to get involved at the local, state, or national level. The Maine way of life is under assault and I do not want to see our kind, beautiful state lose its character.

Representing part of Windham in the Legislature is an honor. If there is any way that I can be of assistance, please contact me at barbara.bagshaw@legislature.maine.gov .My office phone number is 207-287-1440. You can find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BagshawForMaine. To receive regular updates, sign up for my e-newsletter at https://mainehousegop.org/ <

Insight: Indistinguishable from magic

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

Last week was not my best experience when having to overcome technical issues in work and at home.

It all started on a Sunday morning when I tried to log-in to my work website from home using my remote connection. No matter how many times that I tried to do so, the remote connection would not let me connect and an unusual box requesting a password popped up each time.

I texted my boss and asked her if she was aware of any issues or problems and she replied that she wasn’t aware of anything wrong and she was able to log-in remotely. She said she was in Italy with her husband and that she would have her husband investigate the problem and he would be in touch in a little while. About 10 minutes later he texted me and I explained to him my issue.

He spent 15 minutes or so trying to explore solutions, but those suggestions didn’t work. He said he had an appointment and would be in touch later.

In the meantime, I was able to use my home computer to save some documents and I arranged with a co-worker to have them set up a file on the work server and save them there when I emailed them to her. That way I wasn’t losing a lot of productivity from not being able to connect to my office computer remotely.

Later that evening, I received a text that we were going to try again to resolve the remote connection technical problem. After working on it by communicating by text messages back and forth for more than a half hour, I began to realize what he wanted me to do was beyond the scope of my limited technical capabilities. Changing user authentication, removing configurations, changing the shared secret and privacy coding and the like exceeded my knowledge. And both of us were tired, in fact, as he tried to walk me through the steps to fix the issue, he mentioned that it was 2:30 a.m. in Italy. We agreed to call it a night and work on the problem the next day.

On Monday morning, I reconnected with my boss and her husband by text, and they wanted to Zoom with me. After resolving a few issues on my machine to establish a Zoom call with them, we started to work on setting up a new remote connection for me. That was filled with having to overcome an array of technical issues and permissions which they were able to walk me through.

Finally, after about three-quarters of an hour of going back and forth, everything was set up for them to take control of my screen from Italy and install a new remote connection, allowing me to connect with my office computer. It has worked tremendously since then and I was in awe of what they were able to do working on a laptop from Italy to fix my issue and grateful for their assistance.

Two days later, I woke up, sat down at my machine, and discovered that our 10-year-old router no longer worked, and I couldn’t connect to the internet. On my way to the office at 7:45 a.m., I pulled over and using my iPhone, I asked Siri if Staples was open. Within 10 minutes, I had purchased a new router.

When I got home from work that night, I followed the instructions and downloaded the router company’s app onto my iPhone and used the simple step-by-step directions to install the router. The final step was creating a 10-character password using up and down letters, and at least two numerals. When I attempted to log-in, I couldn’t connect the router to my computer. I called the 1-800 number for router technical support and was on hold for more than an hour when I gave up frustrated and said I would try in the morning.

The next day, I tried router technical support again and spent an hour listening to some awful elevator-type of music waiting to have my call answered. When a technician took my call at last, I was overjoyed and answered all her questions about the router’s make, model and serial number. She had me try to connect again and it failed again. When she asked if a blue light was shining on the router we were suddenly disconnected, and I had to go through calling the 1-800 number once again.

This time though I spoke to a different technician and had all the serial number info at hand. She put me on hold for a moment and then asked me what password was showing on my router iPhone app. I thought I entered 10 characters with the last one being an exclamation point, but it showed nine characters with no exclamation point. She suggested I enter that, and it worked and lo and behold, I was connected.

Therefore, hooking my wife’s wireless printer up to the router using the correct password was not an issue just a day later when that technical issue arose.

It turned out to be a week of technical obstacles that I would certainly like to relegate permanently to the memory bank.

An unsolved mystery arrives in Maine

By Andy Young

I want people like D and T living in my neighborhood. Each is generous, energetic, kind, creative, determined, attractive, courageous, honest, and fully committed to doing everything they can to make the world a better place for everybody. Together they are a powerhouse.

In order to shield these two wonderful but intensely private individuals from any unwanted attention, I’m going to refer to them by the third letters of their first names. I was going to identify them by using the last digit in their respective phone numbers, but that would make their true identities far too obvious.

After reading my glowing descriptions of I and P (the first letter of the state where each grew up), one would naturally assume that we would spend a great deal of time together. But unfortunately, according to Google Maps their front doorstep is located 825.5 miles from mine, which makes actual visiting difficult.

It would take 13 hours and 16 minutes to drive to their residence, so making a round trip in a single day would be impossible, even if I left on the Saturday night in early November when the clocks get set back to Standard Time.

Every year B and E (the first letter of their respective favorite football teams) call me on a particular day, and after observing a very specific protocol we get down to the business of catching up.

I regale them with only slightly embellished tales of my doings here in Maine, while they update me on what’s been going on in their world. These special phone conversations are never long enough.

Our most recent electronic get-together occurred when they called last month to sing “Happy Birthday,” congratulate me on turning 39 again, catch me up on their lives, and allow me to catch them up on mine.

Even by their lofty standards, last year was a memorable one for B and B (the first letter of their respective hair colors). Always enthusiastic travelers/adventurers, they had toured several African nations, going on a memorable safari while they were there.

But when they asked if I’d gotten the postcard that they sent me from Botswana last July, I quickly changed the subject.

That’s because I didn’t remember getting any postcard, which could only mean one of two things, neither of which was attractive.

Possibility number one: I am in fact a terrible person, since only the most callous, self-centered, egotistical “friend” would fail to acknowledge such a kindness.

Possibility number two: I truly didn’t remember receiving the postcard, meaning that premature senility has arrived even more prematurely than I had anticipated it would.

One afternoon several weeks after that phone call I found two items in my mailbox after returning from work. One was a gentle reminder from the power company to pay them if I wished to continue receiving electricity for my home. The other was a colorful picture postcard with “Chobe National Park” and “Botswana” printed on the front. On its back side was an uncancelled South African stamp in the upper right corner, and handwritten messages from both A and M (last names of a famous Texas university).

There were no postmarks or dates of any kind on either side of the card, which was in pristine condition. In fact, were it not for the writing on the back, the Botswanan postcard vendor could undoubtedly have sold it again, and at full price.

Forget how the pyramids of Giza were built, the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, and the JFK assassination. The only mystery I want solved is where that postcard spent the past nine months! < 

Insight: A Mighty Rhine Time

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

As a child, I always dreamed of traveling around the world, seeing how other people lived and if the sun looked any different coming up on the other side of the world. In November 1977, as a member of the U.S. Air Force, I got to experience what it would be like to live in another country when I was assigned to serve at a location in Germany.

Ed Pierce, right, visited Oktoberfest in Munich,
Germany with some of his U.S. Air Force friends
in 1978. He was stationed in Germany from 1977
to 1979 just outside Frankfurt.
COURTESY PHOTO  

When I first arrived in Frankfurt and stepped outside the airport, a difference I noticed was the air smelled like vegetables. At that time, German sugar beet farms surrounded the Frankfurt airport, and it was beet harvesting season.

As I settled in to living in another country and didn’t speak German, subtle cultural differences quickly became apparent to me. About a week in, some of my Air Force co-workers stopped to buy lunch at a food truck along a highway. The menu featured several types of “wurst” sandwiches, different kinds of sausages on a hard roll and were accompanied by “pomme frites,” or what we know as French fries. The woman taking orders asked me in German something about my meal and not understanding a word she was saying, I smiled and nodded to her.

When my order was ready, I discovered the waitress had asked if I wanted mayonnaise on my French fries, a common custom there. I had to scrape it off my fries and it wouldn’t be the last time my inability to speak the language led to a surprise.

Several months later after renting an apartment in Frankfurt, I learned that on the other side of the wall to my living room was a pizza parlor. One evening I decided to order a pizza to bring home for dinner. The owner was Italian and spoke little German, but I pointed to the medium pepperoni pizza on the menu and paid him. I sat there while he prepared and cooked the pizza for me.

At some point, he said something in Italian to me and made a motion referring to the pizza slices. I thought he was asking me if I wanted my pizza sliced, so I smiled and nodded in agreement. When I opened the pizza box at home, I was shocked. Apparently, the pizza shop owner had asked if I wanted raw egg on my pizza, which is a popular pizza topping there.

At a local carnival, I purchased a box of popcorn and found that instead of salt, Germans prefer to sprinkle sugar on their popcorn.

When renting my apartment, I learned that the term “unfurnished” was a bit more extreme there than in the United States. When Germans describe an apartment as being “unfurnished,” it’s not only without furniture. “Unfurnished” there means without appliances such as a stove or even overhead light fixtures as there were just wires to hook light fixtures up to. I had to purchase at a department store a toilet seat and door handles. I had to buy a bottle of liquor for the “hausmeister” or apartment manager to obtain a small electric stove for me.

For $25 I bought a second-hand apartment-size refrigerator from an Air Force sergeant who lived in the apartment building but was returning to the U.S. later that week. I found that Germans do not use ice and cook all their meals fresh every day, so they do not have refrigerators in their residences. That goes for businesses and restaurants too. Beer on tap is room temperature and even soft drinks such as Coca Cola are served warm.

Trying to work the stove offered me lessons in the difference between Celsius and Fahrenheit and made me appreciate that America did not convert to Celsius configurations for baking when it was proposed in the early 1970s.

Somebody gave me a television set and I tried to watch German drama programs, but the better offerings were shows imported from the U.S. and it was kind of funny to hear Telly Savalas as “Kojak” dubbed in German or William Shatner as Captain Kirk in “Star Trek” giving orders to the crew of the Starship Enterprise dubbed in German. My favorite German television show was the “Hit Parade” on Saturday nights. Many American musical acts appeared on that show, and I could understand what they were singing, although once an American performer named Ken Curtis was introduced and he sang entirely in German. After a minute or so of watching his performance, I realized that Ken Curtis was the actor who portrayed Festus Haggen on “Gunsmoke” on American television.

I loved strolling through outdoor markets in Frankfurt on the weekend and the aroma of fresh baked cakes and cookies during the Christmas season. One time I was amazed to see a pack of dogs sitting together on a sidewalk looking in the window of a shop as I approached. As I got closer, I found the dogs were sitting and looking in the window as a butcher hung meat cuts there. I thought it was a scene my grandfather might have witnessed as a child and now I was observing it too.

For me, living overseas made me grateful for the life we have here in America.

Jane Pringle: Resources to streamline your tax filing

By State Rep. Jane Pringle

As we turn the corner into spring, it is once again time to contend with tax filing season. While filing taxes with the IRS can be complicated and difficult, I wanted to use this space to share some tools and resources that will make the experience more manageable. Tax season can be a time to reflect, take stock of our financial circumstances and encourage us to make the necessary adjustments to promote financial responsibility and growth.

State Rep. Jane Pringle

Last year, my colleagues and I passed a number of pivotal measures to provide meaningful relief and develop a fairer tax structure. As your legislator, it is my goal to always advocate for bills that will put money back into the hands of hardworking Mainers and their families.

For example: We expanded the Property Fair Tax Credit by increasing the qualifying income and assets so that more middle-class Mainers will be able to qualify. We also passed a new, refundable child tax credit to help parents build economic security and to assist in lifting Maine families out of poverty. These credits, among others, are available for folks to capitalize on this tax season.

Additionally, there is an abundance of resources ranging from user-friendly software to professional assistance that can provide guidance and streamline the process. If you are hoping to secure professional help, CA$H Maine is a group of nonprofit and for-profit businesses across that state that work together to provide tax preparation resources and other financial services to those who meet the income requirements.

This year, their services include in-person appointments where you can bring your relevant documents to an IRS-certified tax preparer who will prepare your taxes that same day. If there is not enough time in your schedule to accommodate an in-person meeting, there is a Scan & Go service and a Drop & Go service at participating locations where a preparer will complete your filing and then call to inform you when you can return to pick up your documents.

There is also the IRS tax assistance office. While there are a handful of locations across the state, the closest office to Windham can be found in South Portland at 440 Western Ave. They are currently holding extended hours and are available to accept appointments; to make one, please call (844) 545-5640. Not only do they have a volunteer income assistance program, but the office also offers tax counseling for those 60 or older.

Qualifying individuals include folks who make $64,000 a year or less, those with disabilities and taxpayers who don’t speak English as their first language. This service is staffed by volunteers who are required to meet IRS standards, making it a trusted and reliable source available to answer any questions you may have regarding your taxes.

Locally, there is also an AARP Foundation Tax-Aide, which offers free assistance to Mainers who need help filing their taxes. Certified by the IRS and operated by AARP volunteers, the service is open to taxpayers of all ages; AARP membership is not required. The foundation encourages all to file, even if not required, as some lower-income folks might be eligible for additional Maine state refunds for property tax, rent relief and sales tax relief.

To put your name on the waiting list for an appointment for the Tax-Aide’s Windham location at Unity Garden, call 207-518-8579.

By approaching tax season with a positive mindset and utilizing the resources above, it is my hope that taxpayers will be more easily able to navigate the process. The deadline to file is April 15, and there is no time like the present to decide your tax filing strategy in order to maximize potential deductions and minimize possible liabilities. With the proper assistance, individuals should feel prepared to take advantage of any deductions and credits available from both federal and state governments. Happy filing!

Rep. Jane Pringle is serving her second non-consecutive term in the Maine House of Representatives, having previously served from 2012-2014. She is currently a member of the Legislature’s Health Coverage, Insurance and Financial Services Committee in the 131st Maine Legislature. <

Andy Young: The wrong man for the job

By Andy Young

I don’t know why I even opened that bit of obvious junk mail last month. But doing so was a big mistake.

What was inside the innocuous-looking white envelope was a form letter from a marketing company asking me to complete an online survey. Doing so would allegedly take under five minutes.

Ordinarily I’d have dismissed such a request out of hand, but in this case, I was compelled to make an exception, because there were two actual one-dollar bills attached to the letter. And while I had no real interest in filling out any surveys, the thought of pocketing $2 for doing nothing didn't seem right, so I dutifully went online.

As promised, the exercise took less than 5 minutes. Knowing I was finished, I donated the $2 to the local food bank and called it a day.

But that old saying about no good deed going unpunished is all too true.

A week or so later a large cardboard envelope marked “Priority Mail” appeared on my front doorstep.

“Dear Mr. Young,” the enclosed letter began. “Thank you so much for completing our online survey. Can you help us now by completing this equally important Survey of the American Consumer questionnaire booklet?”

This time there was a $5 bill enclosed. I felt helpless. Having already established I couldn’t accept $2 for doing nothing, I obviously couldn’t just pocket a fiver, so I resigned myself to filling out the entire 124-page questionnaire.

Fortunately, I was able to omit large portions of the survey. For example, one section asked me to check off the name of every store I had visited in the last six months.

I answered “no” to Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropostale, Banana Republic, Bath and Body Works, Big Lots, Bloomingdale’s, Crate and Barrel, Dollar General, Eddie Bauer, Forever 21, The Gap, Hobby Lobby, J. Crew, Kohl’s, Marshalls, Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, Pottery Barn, and all 58 of the other listed establishments.

Before beginning the survey, I had no inkling of just how many products exist that I don’t buy.

My bottom line (money spent on listed item) was zero for, among other things, tanning products, electronic cigarettes/vaping, body powder, boxed chocolates, snack mixes, malt liquor, motor oil additives, foreign vacations, cruise ships, fine jewelry, cameras, video games, mobile phone accessories, casino gambling, sour cream, dry cake mixes, frozen hot snacks, dessert toppings, frozen pizza, canned meat, pickle relish, nectars, spray starch, carpet and rug cleaners, cat litter, dog treats, wood pellets, infant cereal, lighter fluid, and approximately 745 other things.

Pages 69 thru 85 asked which cable TV channels I watch. I said no to Netflix, VH-1, Newsmax, Starz, Lifetime, MSNBC, Nickelodeon, MTV, Animal Planet, Telemundo, HBO, Hulu, History Channel, BET, Comedy Central, the Food Network, Cartoon Network, Disney, Bravo, ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPN Deportes, and every other option listed, many of which I’d never heard of.

I’ve never been happier about having a TV-free house than I was when I realized I’d be able to skip 16 pages of that survey.

The seemingly endless personal inventory took parts of four days to complete, but when I finished, I heaved a sigh of relief, earmarked my “free” $5 bill for the local food bank, and considered the matter closed.

By now it’s been established that I am to consumerism what Pee Wee Herman was to bodybuilding.

So hear this, marketing companies: I’m not filling out another survey, no matter how much money you attach to it! There is nothing to be gained by sending me another one.

Unless you’re affiliated with the local food bank. <

Tim Nangle: Working together for a better Maine

By State Senator Tim Nangle

Every day I commute to Augusta, I'm reminded of the incredible power working together has on our state. Maine is our home, a place where we all share dreams of a better future for ourselves and our kids. In my time at the State House, I've seen how much we can achieve when we work hard, regardless of our differences.

State Senator Tim Nangle

This past year, we've made some significant steps toward this future. We've tackled issues that matter to all of us, like making sure as many Mainers as possible have a safe place to live, providing critical support to victims of violence, and keeping our precious waters clean and safe. Today, I want to talk about a few of these efforts and show how bipartisan collaboration is not only possible, but how we can make a meaningful impact for Mainers.

Many of us know how hard it is for folks to find a safe, affordable place to live. That's why I was thrilled to see so many key housing initiatives in the bipartisan budget signed into law last summer. The budget expanded the Housing First Program, providing shelter and comprehensive support services for our chronically unhoused neighbors. Additionally, the budget set aside money for affordable housing programs, including the Rural Affordable Rental Housing Program and the federal Low-Income Housing Tax Credit Program. We also invested more funds into the Low-Income Assistance Program, helping families cover the cost of heating and other utilities.

These initiatives will help people without homes get the support they need while simultaneously making more affordable houses available. It's a big win for all Mainers struggling to find safe and affordable homes.

In a crucial step to support survivors of violence, LD 2084, “An Act to Provide Funding for Essential Services for Victims of Crimes,” received unanimous, bipartisan votes in the Judiciary Committee, as well as both the Senate and House chambers. This is a critical bill that will help to fill the gap left by dwindling federal VOCA funds. VOCA, or the Victims of Crime Act, has historically been a lifeline that offers essential services to those affected by violence.

Unfortunately, those funds from the federal government have decreased over the past few years. As a result, Maine is facing a 60 percent reduction in federal funds. By using state resources to fill this gap, LD 2084 will ensure that Maine's support network – ranging from crisis response to long-term aid for survivors – remains robust.

As you may know, I’ve been working on a bill aimed at giving towns better tools to deal with shoreland zoning violations. This was prompted by the challenges in the town of Raymond but will be helpful for all Maine towns. I’m pleased to share that LD 2101, “An Act to Strengthen Shoreland Zoning Enforcement,” received a strong, bipartisan vote from the Committee on State and Local Government and is now heading to the Senate floor for a vote. This step shows our collective effort to protect Maine's shorelands and support towns in enforcing the rules.

If you follow national news, you probably feel frustrated because it seems like partisan arguing gets in the way of any real progress. I hear you. I want you to know that in Maine, hundreds of bills every year pass the Legislature with unanimous, bipartisan support. We work together all the time to accomplish things you sent us here to do.

It doesn't matter if we're Democrats or Republicans; what matters is our shared love for Maine and our commitment to making it even better. The issues I wrote about here are only a few examples of what we can achieve when we put our minds together for the common good.

For young Mainers interested in experiencing the legislative process up close, the Maine Senate’s Honorary Page Program is a fantastic opportunity to do just that. Pages help distribute amendments and deliver messages between Senators in the Senate Chamber. To learn more or apply, reach out to the Senate Secretary’s Office at 207-287-1540 or email Alex.Ferguson@legislature.maine.gov.

I'm always here to listen to you and work on your behalf. Your thoughts, concerns, and dreams for our state guide everything I do. Let's keep the conversation going. Reach out to me anytime at Timothy.Nangle@legislature.maine.gov or call 207-287-1515. For the latest updates, follow me on Facebook at facebook.com/SenatorTimNangle, and sign up for my e-newsletter at mainesenate.org.

Together, we're building a brighter future for Maine, one step at a time. Thank you for your trust, support, and partnership. Let's keep moving forward together. <

Insight: In search of extraterrestrials

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

If you missed this bit of news last week, a Pentagon study says there is no credible evidence that exists verifying U.S. authorities covered up extraterrestrial life in the form of unidentified flying objects.

This follows decades of persistent rumors that an Unidentified Flying Object crashed near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 and an alien spacecraft and deceased occupants from another world were quickly removed and covered up by members of the U.S. military there. A 63-page report offered simple explanations for unexplained UFO sightings and what it says are up to 40 percent of Americans who believe the U.S. has been visited by spaceships containing alien beings.

The report also refutes claims that the U.S. government and private companies have been able to access alien spacecraft and use reverse-engineered extraterrestrial technology for top-secret projects.

As a teenager, I spent a lot of time reading science fiction stories and comic books about visitors from outer space and this Pentagon report got me to thinking about what my life and our culture would have been like without the mention of aliens from other worlds.

Since I grew up watching television, one of my favorite shows as a small child was “The Adventures of Superman” starring George Reeves. Superman himself was an alien visitor to Earth, sent here by his parents as a baby to escape the destruction of the planet Krypton when it exploded. I later had a subscription to the “Adventure” comic book featuring the Legion of Super Heroes who were a group of superpowered alien beings.

Many episodes of sci-fi programs airing in the early 1960s such as “The Twilight Zone” or “The Outer Limits” involved scary extraterrestrial visitors in one way or another. And if I wanted a good laugh, there was “Uncle Martin” the Martian with funny antennae as played by Ray Walston on the comedy “My Favorite Martian.”

When “Lost in Space” and “Star Trek” debuted in the mid-1960s, alien characters on television increased significantly. For me, the character of Mr. Spock of “Star Trek” stood out, as Leonard Nimoy portrayed a half-human logical being from the planet Vulcan with pointed ears and green blood. Spock’s popularity opened the door for acceptance of alien characters in further television programs and in movies going forward.

In the 1970s, alien characters were everywhere in entertainment.

Films such as “Star Wars” in 1977 introduced the world to strange creatures such as Jabba the Hutt, the Wookie Chewbacca, and Yoda, a small and wise centuries-old green Jedi. On television, viewers tuned in to Robin Williams as the alien Mork from the planet Ork on the comedy “Mork and Mindy.”

By the 1980s, it was hard to miss the flood of alien characters permeating our world. There was the powerful alien who devoured humans in the movie “Predator,” or a lost extraterrestrial who wanted to phone home in director Steven Spielburg’s “E.T the Extra-Terrestrial.” In the movie “Cocoon,” the residents of a Florida nursing home discover an alien fountain of youth in a swimming pool. In “Starman” actor Jeff Bridges played an alien creature who inhabits the body of a dead man from Wisconsin while trying to reconnect with his spaceship. TV's "Alf," short for Alien Life Form, was about an alien creature living with an American family. 

On television in the 1990s, hit shows such as “3rd Rock from the Sun,” or “The X-Files” or “Babylon 5” continued to focus on aliens while defeating alien invaders in popular films such as “Independence Day” and “Men in Black” fascinated moviegoers.

And if you’re thinking that the Baby Boomer generation is the only one to be preoccupied by the thought of aliens visiting our world, may I remind you of a story my father told me about when he was in high school in the 1930s and was listening to the radio one evening and a program was broadcast that severely panicked Americans because of its topic.

It was a CBS radio adaptation of an H.G. Wells’ science fiction novel by a troupe of actors led by Orson Welles called “The War of the Worlds” about an invasion of Earth by hostile Martians. Some listeners to that broadcast were convinced that an extraterrestrial crisis was unfolding in America as alien spacecraft were landing in New Jersey that night before Halloween in 1938. My father said that broadcast felt so real, he didn’t know if he there would be school classes the very next morning.

Now as an adult, I must confess that I am not among the 40 percent who believe that alien spacecraft have visited our planet and I find it interesting that funding was authorized by The Pentagon to determine if the government has any sort of evidence or testimony of aliens or extraterrestrial spacecraft hidden away in storage.

That doesn’t mean that I do not wonder if somewhere out in the universe, there is an alien civilization which is like our own. I believe that our basic human desire is to think we are not alone in life, and it has led to the ongoing popularity of television series and films about aliens and space exploration in our culture today.

If the idea of alien existence was not part of our culture, I surely would have spent parts of my life differently.

Andy Young: We're Number One

By Andy Young

Locally there was much joy earlier this month when the Windham High School boys’ basketball team won its first-ever Maine Class AA State Championship.

But it’s hardly the first time the town of Windham has faced stiff competition and emerged triumphant. In fact, Windham, Maine already owns a distinction which the eight other American municipalities with the same name can only wish they possessed.

Some of those envious other places are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to vying for the title of Best Windham. For example, Windham, Iowa is just an unincorporated community that lies 11 miles west of Iowa City, midway between the villages of Frytown and Cosgrove. The United States Census doesn’t collect population data in a way that shows exactly how many people live in unincorporated villages, but in 1925, the last time such numbers were available, Iowa’s Windham had a mere 35 residents.

Oddly, two of America’s eight other Windhams lie in the same state. There’s a Windham Township, Pennsylvania in both Bradford County and Wyoming County, but it’s tough to differentiate between the two. Bradford County’s Windham Township is home to 818 souls, whereas the Wyoming County Windham Township’s population is only 737.

The only other Windhams in America that lie outside New England are Windham, New York (population 1,708) and Windham, Montana, a 267-acre, 43-person CDP (census-designated place) located in Judith Basin County. But when it comes to elevation, the other Windhams can’t compete with Montana’s, which lies 4,264 feet above sea level. New York’s Windham, with a location 1,893 feet above the ocean, stands a distant second in this category. Windham, Vermont takes home the bronze, at 1,759 feet. This particular portion of the Windham decathlon isn’t a strong event for Maine’s Windham, which at 236 feet above sea level lies just higher than the Windhams of Connecticut (233 feet) and New Hampshire (194 feet).

While New York’s Windham, which locals there refer to as “Land in the Sky” and/or “The Gem of the Catskills,” may hold the title of highest-elevated Windham east of the Mississippi, it has a less enviable distinction as well. In 1937 it was home to Camp Highland, a Nazi-sponsored summer camp for German-American boys.

When it comes to population though, Maine’s Windham rules northern New England. The 2020 census says 18,434 people live here, which is 2,617 more than reside in Windham, New Hampshire and 18,015 more than tiny Windham that Vermont contains. But alas, that same census certifies that Windham, Connecticut is home to 24,428, which makes them the top Windham in that category not only in New England, but the entire United States.

However, if size really does matter, Windham, Maine is easily number one. The Iowa and Montana Windhams are mere postage stamps, and the Wyoming County Windham Township consists of just 23.2 square miles. The other three New England Windhams aren’t much bigger; Vermont’s consists of just 26.1 square miles, New Hampshire’s has 27.78, and Connecticut’s is 27.9. The Windham Township in Bradford County, Pennsylvania is a slightly more sizable 32.29 square miles, but that’s dwarfed by Windham, New York’s area: 45.34 square miles.

However, the largest American Windham by far is Maine’s! At a massive 50.15 square miles, the Pine Tree State’s Windham is nearly 10 percent larger than the runner-up Windham, New York’s. And it would still be bigger even if the judges didn’t count the 3.59 square miles of Windham, Maine’s total area that’s water.

Most importantly though, Maine’s Windham owns one other distinction that New York’s only wishes it could claim.

Our state’s Windham has never hosted a Nazi-sponsored summer camp. <