Rookie Mama: Spending time over money – The most fantastic currency

By Michelle Cote
The Rookie Mama

We’ve turned that curve toward summer’s end – It’s ‘round the bend amid stacks of school supplies; color-coded folders and one-subject notebooks.

And that’s one subject for which I wish I could have procrastinated when August hit, but alas – It was go time.

Perhaps there’s no better time than now, in this season of transition, to remind ourselves to stay still when we can, in spite of constant motion and hair-on-fire parking spot searches coming in hot to soccer practice. (Guilty, on all counts).

Teeny, peaceful moments – the in between – can, and do exist.

Soak in moments, even though opportunities to soak sunlight’s slowly drawn its seasonal late-day curtain.

My family and I traveled to Quebec right before August’s intense ramping up of school-supply-shopping commenced into high gear, and I reminded myself silently to let points in time permeate a bit. To really live in the moment.

To not think ahead to school days and golden rule days, but to rather let these golden days rule.

Of our whole crew, I’m often the most destination-focused; we get to our point of disembarking, snap the photo with my right selfie-stick-style arm and inadvertently crop part of my head, then it’s go, go, go – Trek on. Next stop.

During this venture, I endeavored to mentally capture moments, remember the smells, the sights, the feelings, the sounds, the inevitable impromptu moments unscripted we’d all laugh about later, arm in arm with my husband and linked with our sweating, joyful children.

Quebec’s motto, ‘Je me souviens’, means ‘I remember,’ after all.

But what have I historically truly remembered beyond photographed evidence?

Upon returning home, I caught part of a video that upped this challenge ante – To not leave the house, even for a simple, mundane errand, without at least one child in tow.

Theoretically, solo focused time spent with one of your children allows for intentional conversations that wouldn’t otherwise take place at home with the whole herd – I have four children, and individualized, focused dialogue is a rarest luxury.

Speaking in complete sentences – What is this?

None of us are immune in a crew of six.

I tested this focused-time theory one recent afternoon as I shepherded my two middle guys up to camp for a quick luggage drop off. The otherwise totally un-glamorous task of unloading swim towel totes and Donettes into our camper was strikingly more memorable with the little ones than if I were solo, indeed.

They each had space to share stories and thoughts and opinions on life without being sandwiched figuratively and literally, conversational oxygen depleted and valiantly fought for.

I took notice of and thanked them for their helpful behaviors.

They loved the attention; I loved the assistance.

These moments – whether the intentional soaking up memories as my family trekked all over French-Canadian territory, attempting cringe-fully to speak French, poutine gravy dripping constantly in hand – or deliberate conversation with my little humans during an otherwise unremarkable errand – are important.

Small moments are lost if we only hold out for the grand.

And we only have 18 years with each of our little guys.

It’s easy to keep busy, and this autumn season gives us all the reasons to be.

But I’ve been trying to be smarter about the busy-work – Buying groceries more in bulk, planning ahead, stocking up on school snacks and organizing them in our downstairs pantry during quiet times where I’m not accompanied by my kiddos.

My own little haul of fame, if you will.

So live in the meaningful, cherish-able moments as they roll out with your little ones – tiny as the moments may be – and strategize your meal planning and bulk shopping list buys around this so your future self may thank you.

Spend more time, less money.

But buy the French poutine to share.

And to all you soccer mamas – I hear you, and I see you.

Let’s do this, September. I’ll see you on the other side!

­­– Michelle Cote lives in southern Maine with her husband and four sons, and enjoys camping, distance running, biking, gardening, road trips to new regions, arts and crafts, soccer, and singing to musical showtunes – often several or more at the same time! <