I wasn’t asked to speak at my school's graduation ceremony this weekend, but If I had been, here’s what the attendees would have heard.
I commend you honor students for your lofty GPAs, but for all of you: your grades no longer matter, and neither does what team(s) you played for, who you took to the prom, or, for that matter, if you even attended the prom!
College, a good job, or military service are all worthwhile next steps. But for each one of you, the greatest part of leaving high school is getting the chance to reinvent yourself.
An opportunity like this doesn’t come along very often, so don’t waste it, because before you know it, you’ll be surrounded by people who’ll see you primarily in your role as a plumber, hairdresser, doctor, coach, teacher, and/or parent. And when that happens, you’ll find yourself conforming to certain behaviors because, well, that’s what people expect of plumbers, hairdressers, doctors, coaches, teachers, parents, and/or other community members they think they know.
Sooner or later, you’ll acquire a perceived outer persona which, like it or not, will be yours for a long time to come. Many of you have already been pigeonholed into certain identities. Look around you. Admit it: you yourself see many of your peers primarily in their current guise(s): class clown, athlete, burnout, bookworm, artist, snitch, chic dresser, gearhead, suck-up, actor, slacker, trusted confidant, or rebel.
Just like many of them (often inaccurately) see you.
Trust me: you don’t want to be universally perceived in any one particular context no matter how attractive it seems today. And now is one of the few specific junctures in life when you can conveniently initiate meaningful personal alteration.
I myself never considered changing anything after high school. Why would I? I was in the midst of a two-decade adolescence that was my ultimate comfort zone. But at age 30, I found myself training for a new job, 1,000 miles from home in a roomful of people who knew absolutely nothing about me. That’s when I experienced an epiphany that I hope all of you do today. I realized I could be anyone I wanted to be! No one knew if I was an athlete, a musician, or a thespian. Was I an introvert, or the life of the party? Democrat, Republican, Independent, or politically unconcerned? At that moment. I could present myself to these new colleagues however I saw fit. If I were ever going to change others’ perception of me, this was the time.
I listened more and talked less that day, dialed back the jokes, and interacted a bit more cautiously than I did with people who I had known for years.
Ultimately, I didn’t make any radical changes, because for the most part I liked who I was. Thankfully there’s no law requiring you to alter your personality.
But don’t be like me and wait until you’re 30 years old to take advantage of having a clean slate. Understand that starting now, the first day of the rest of your life, you can be whoever and whatever you want to be.
It’s probably not a coincidence that I wasn't asked to be the commencement speaker at the school where I currently teach, or at any of the ones I attended as a student, despite my having amassed 35 years of valuable high school experience.
But I’ll get another fresh start when school reopens in 10 weeks. And that’s more than enough time to undergo some subtle reinvention, if that’s what I feel is necessary. <
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