Do you find it challenging to stay positive around certain people in your life? You know who I am talking about. We all have moments of negativity, but these are the people who seem to always bring you down. No matter what the situation, they find a way to complain. When you spend time with them, you feel so tired, drained and depressed afterward. I think of these people as energy vampires. They literally suck the energy right out of those around them. They don’t necessarily realize that they are doing this, but the effect is still the same.
Energy vampires are unhappy with their lives. They have lost the ability to create their own light, so they feed off the light of others. They tap into your energy to help sustain them, but in the process they end up draining you. Misery loves company, but unless you love misery, it would be in your interest to learn how to maintain your positivity in these situations. I’m not going to lie. Remaining positive around negative people is challenging, especially if you have your own issues you are dealing with (don’t we all). When others push your buttons, it usually means that you have unresolved negativity of your own that you haven’t addressed.
Judy Orloff, bestselling author of “Emotional Freedom,” says, “be confident that no one can drain you if you don’t cooperate”. This means taking personal responsibility for your own happiness and learning how to handle energy vampires without getting sucked in. There are some techniques you can use when dealing with these people. First, try not to react. Take a deep breath, let it go, and don’t react. Positive people tend to want to fix negative people, but you can’t help them at all if you are being affected by their words and actions.
It may sound strange, but creating an energy shield around yourself will protect you from energy vampires. Close your eyes and visualize a protective white light around you. Some people picture the “bubble” covered with slime and anything negative slides right off the bubble before it can reach you. You many need to reconstruct this bubble many times throughout the day, but it really works well when dealing with people that you just can’t avoid. If you are in a one-on-one conversation with someone, just blink your eyes slowly and visualize yourself in that safe space.
Try to have perspective when dealing with these people. They may criticize you and belittle you, but if you step back you will realize that it is never about you. They are operating from a place of fear or anxiety around their own insecurities and issues. Make a conscious effort to discern which issues are theirs and which issues are yours. It’s all about perspective.
Look around you and find those people who are draining your energy. Offer a compassionate ear while maintaining boundaries. Stay grounded so you don’t get pulled into the criticism, anger, guilt, or jealousy. Try not to react and protect your energy with an energy shield whenever it is needed. If you find yourself unable to maintain your own light around certain people, limit your contact with them. Don’t be afraid to walk away from the relationship if these other tips don’t work. In the end, you are responsible for your own happiness and when your energy is allowed to shine, you will have the freedom to soar.