Andy Young: One of the five takes a vacation

By Andy Young

People who speak English employ 26 different symbols when they wish to exchange ideas in writing. However, while 21 of those generally recognized letters are classified as mere consonants, most knowledgeable lexicographers and polyglots see the others, the vowels, as the alphabet’s five most vital components.

That came to mind recently when I heard a soccer coach solemnly tell one of his pint-sized charges, a player who never seemed to pass to a teammate, “There’s no I in team.”

While that tired axiom might be the most ancient of old clichés, nevertheless it’s literally correct, since the alphabet’s ninth letter is indeed absent from the word “team.”

Mentors since the beginning of time have invented similar axioms by employing the simple “There’s no ____ in _____________” recipe. For example, aspiring realtors are told there’s no “D” in kitchen, no “H” in closet, and no “X” in garage, no matter what size abode they’re trying to sell.

Inexperienced cartographers learn early on that there’s no “E” in Bolivia, no “L” in Costa Rica, and no “T” in China.

Okay, technically there is tea in China. However, reasonable people recognize a semantic exception when they see one.

Persons who write and orate in English aren’t the only ones availing themselves of the 26-letter alphabet. Speakers and writers of Malay and Indonesian do so as well. It’s remarkable so many people can convey messages or other random notions, both verbally and in writing, when employing a mere 26 different characters.

While each letter is significant, the five vowels are by far the most indispensable. The chances of being able to write anything even moderately intelligible if they didn’t exist, are practically nil.

Here’s an interesting factoid: the Arabic alphabet contains 28 letters, all of which are consonants which can also serve as long vowels. A few other symbols are considered by some academics to be letters. However, they are not a basic part of that alphabet.

The Armenian alphabet is comprised of 38 letters in all, 31 of which are consonants. I had originally intended to list the seven vowels here for the edification of the Windham Eagle’s loyal readers. However, as was also the case with many of the Arabic symbols, few are available options on my keyboard.

In contrast, the Hawaiian remarkable alphabet consists of only 13 letters: H, K, L, M, N, P, W, ‘, and the same five vowels English speakers employ in order to correspond with their friends in writing. The ‘, the letter that transcribes the glottal stop consonant in Hawaiian, is called the ‘okina. For a better explanation of what a glottal stop (or glottal stop consonant) is, check with a syntax scholar, a prose professor, an expression edifier, or a terminology teacher. However, regardless of any odd-looking symbols, Hawaiians are getting by very well with an alphabet containing of only half the letters the one we’re familiar with does.

Getting back to the “There’s no I in team” thing, aspiring chefs and bakers are told both early and often by their learned and veteran advisors that there’s no “R” in cinnamon, no “M” in salt, and no “Q” in baking powder. There is, however, an occasional “B” in honey. (See “semantic exception” in this article’s sixth paragraph.)

Prominent clothiers teach their apprentices that there’s no “D” in socks, no “M” in shirt and, one hopes, no “P” in shorts.

Fledgling arborists are told, correctly, that there’s no “C” in Maples, no “E” in Oaks, and no “V” in Redwoods.

Which is something of a coincidence, since there aren’t any yews in this essay either. <