The 2025-2026 school year has begun, which means I'll again be trying to convince high school students of the importance of writing, and then attempting to help them become better at it.
1. Proofread your writing carefully and do it OUT LOUD! That way you’ll avoid any awkward or repetitive sentences.
2. When you take a break, DON’T DELETE ANYTHING! Some of the best writing you’ll ever produce will involve completing something you had started weeks, months, or years earlier.
3. Write early in the morning when your mind is clear, and drink 20 ounces of water (spiked with a teaspoon of vinegar) before you start. That way you’ll stay hydrated and regular, even if you have Writer’s Block.
4. Notice things around you and meticulously jot down what you observe. Ordinary events often make great writing material.
5. Essays on politics and current events have short shelf lives. Also: you’ll never, ever change anyone’s mind about any president, even with the most thoughtful, carefully researched, and reasonable writing.
6. Proofread your writing carefully and do it OUT LOUD! That way you’ll avoid any awkward or repetitive sentences.
7. Always Avoid Alliteration. Unless you think it looks or sounds cool. Then go ahead and use it.
8. Never plagiarize or use trite, overused cliches, like I just did on the previous tip.
9. Don’t edit your first draft as you go, unless doing so helps control your OCD.
10. Only write when you are enveloped by silence; it’ll help you focus. Unless you like noise. Then turn up the volume and start creating.
11. Proofread your writing carefully and do it OUT LOUD! That way you’ll avoid any awkward or repetitive sentences.
12. Don’t assume your reader’s attention span is (or readers’ attention spans are) any longer than yours.
13. Don’t assume that you’re any smarter than the people who’ll read your writing. But don’t assume they’re any smarter than you are, either.
14. Be aware of the audience you’re writing for. Baby Boomers don’t care about Kendrick Lamar, Megan Thee Stallion or Killer Mike any more than Gen Zer’s do about Kate Smith, Perry Como, or Soupy Sales.
15. Keep in mind that a 1.000-word essay is pretty long. Twelve-hundred words constitutes a short story. Anything over that is technically a novella.
16. Sometimes it’s best to write your opening and your conclusion first and then fill in the middle.
17. Except for those times when it’s not.
18. Always try to attempt to avoid using too many extraneous, superfluous, unneeded, redundant, extra unnecessary words in your writing.
19. Avoid using pompous, grandiloquent, pretentious, bombastic verbiage and utterances when simple, uncomplicated, straightforward, basic words and phrases will do.
20. Proofread your writing carefully and do it OUT LOUD! That way you’ll avoid any awkward or repetitive sentences.
21. Ask a friend, parent, child, employer, or hitchhiker you picked up to proofread your writing. (Note: this tip is not intended to be an endorsement of picking up hitchhikers.)
22. Ask someone you trust for feedback, but only if you’re prepared to absorb honest feedback.
23. If you’re having fun, you’re probably working on a good essay. And even if it’s not so good, who cares? You’re having fun!
24. Journaling is great therapy. It’s also a lot cheaper than regular therapy!
25. Proofread your writing carefully and do it OUT LOUD! That way you’ll avoid any awkward or repetitive sentences.
26. Never promise people 30 helpful writing tips when you can only think of 26 of them. <
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