Like St. Patrick’s Day and Halloween, Valentine’s Day doesn’t come with legally mandated time off from work. But there’s more to earning red-letter-day status than falling on a Monday. Sure, each of the 12 federal holidays is significant. But if you ask any florist, chocolatier, or restaurateur what the year’s most important holiday is, their response won’t be Memorial Day, Labor Day, or Juneteenth.
February 14th is nominally about appreciating one’s sweetheart(s)but what truly drives it is unfettered capitalism, or more specifically the combined marketing efforts of corporate giants like Hallmark, Godiva Chocolates, and FTD. Plush toy sales skyrocket on Valentine’s Day as well, and have ever since 1889, when German inventor Heinrich Tedibaer revolutionized the industry by inventing a process enabling skilled seamstresses to fashion cuddly toys with man-made materials. Previously the only way of producing a stuffed animal was to actually slay one, then gut it, remove the bones, and fill the fur with sawdust and rolled-up newspaper before sewing it back together. Unsurprisingly, few recipients of pre-1889 stuffies found such gifts even remotely romantic.
The differences between Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day are striking. One pseudo-holiday is named for the saint credited with removing every snake from the Emerald Isle. The other commemorates a 1929 massacre that eliminated less than one one-hundredth of a percent of Chicago’s gangster population. In addition, March 17th has an endearing nickname, St. Paddy’s Day. In contrast, February 14th’s proposed diminution, VD Day, never caught on, although no one really knows why.
The only holiday rivaling Valentine’s Day for sugar consumption is Halloween, which combines another alarming spike in candy sales with the commemoration of the memorable (though fortunately fictional) lives of Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Freddy Krueger, among others.
Anyone who thinks Valentine's Day is just about roses, romantic dinners, and candy hearts embossed with romance-themed two-word expressions like “Love you,” “Be mine,” and “Do me,” hasn’t studied American political history.
Democrat Tim Valentine served six terms as a Congressman from North Carolina’s 2nd district from 1983-1995, and Republican Edward Valentine represented Nebraska’s 3rd district in that same chamber a century before, from 1883-1885.
Comedian Jack Benny was born on February 14th, 1894. Other notable Valentine’s Day babies: labor leader Jimmy Hoffa (1913), former New Hampshire governor and senator Judd Gregg (1947); radio host Terry Gross (1951), 7-foot-7-inch basketball player Gheorghe Muresan (1971); NFL football star Jadeveon Clowney (1993); and legendary jockey Johnny Longden (1907).
Among the people of consequence who breathed their last on a Valentine’s Day: Captain James Cook (1779); Vicente Guerrero, Mexico’s 2nd president (1831); Hall of Fame baseball pitcher Three-Finger Brown (1948); and legendary jockey Johnny Longden (2003). February 14ths are challenging for the remaining members of the Longden clan, who don’t know whether to celebrate the date of their famous relative’s birth or mourn the anniversary of his passing.
Actress Karen Valentine won an Emmy Award in 1970 for her role on Room 222, a pioneering TV show about a racially diverse high school. Major league baseball players Ellis Valentine, Bobby Valentine, and Fred Valentine all starred at times during their respective careers, as did professional grappler Jonathan Anthony Wisniski, who was more familiarly known to wrestling fans as Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. Unfortunately, none of these Valentines were born on February 14th.
So now, in the words of the late, legendary radio commentator Paul Harvey, you know The Rest of the Story about Valentine’s Day.
Except Paul Harvey wasn’t born on February 14th. And Heinrich Tedibaer is just as fictional as (albeit far less ghoulish than) Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Freddy Krueger. <
The differences between Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day are striking. One pseudo-holiday is named for the saint credited with removing every snake from the Emerald Isle. The other commemorates a 1929 massacre that eliminated less than one one-hundredth of a percent of Chicago’s gangster population. In addition, March 17th has an endearing nickname, St. Paddy’s Day. In contrast, February 14th’s proposed diminution, VD Day, never caught on, although no one really knows why.
The only holiday rivaling Valentine’s Day for sugar consumption is Halloween, which combines another alarming spike in candy sales with the commemoration of the memorable (though fortunately fictional) lives of Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Freddy Krueger, among others.
Anyone who thinks Valentine's Day is just about roses, romantic dinners, and candy hearts embossed with romance-themed two-word expressions like “Love you,” “Be mine,” and “Do me,” hasn’t studied American political history.
Democrat Tim Valentine served six terms as a Congressman from North Carolina’s 2nd district from 1983-1995, and Republican Edward Valentine represented Nebraska’s 3rd district in that same chamber a century before, from 1883-1885.
Comedian Jack Benny was born on February 14th, 1894. Other notable Valentine’s Day babies: labor leader Jimmy Hoffa (1913), former New Hampshire governor and senator Judd Gregg (1947); radio host Terry Gross (1951), 7-foot-7-inch basketball player Gheorghe Muresan (1971); NFL football star Jadeveon Clowney (1993); and legendary jockey Johnny Longden (1907).
Among the people of consequence who breathed their last on a Valentine’s Day: Captain James Cook (1779); Vicente Guerrero, Mexico’s 2nd president (1831); Hall of Fame baseball pitcher Three-Finger Brown (1948); and legendary jockey Johnny Longden (2003). February 14ths are challenging for the remaining members of the Longden clan, who don’t know whether to celebrate the date of their famous relative’s birth or mourn the anniversary of his passing.
Actress Karen Valentine won an Emmy Award in 1970 for her role on Room 222, a pioneering TV show about a racially diverse high school. Major league baseball players Ellis Valentine, Bobby Valentine, and Fred Valentine all starred at times during their respective careers, as did professional grappler Jonathan Anthony Wisniski, who was more familiarly known to wrestling fans as Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. Unfortunately, none of these Valentines were born on February 14th.
So now, in the words of the late, legendary radio commentator Paul Harvey, you know The Rest of the Story about Valentine’s Day.
Except Paul Harvey wasn’t born on February 14th. And Heinrich Tedibaer is just as fictional as (albeit far less ghoulish than) Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Freddy Krueger. <
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