It was a cold sunny day in early January 2012 as I was
running down Commercial Street in Portland to catch the ferry to Peak’s Island
to meet with my writing group. As I was enjoying the winter’s early Saturday
morning sun, my cell phone rang. It was my mom.
Living 1500 miles apart from
each other, talking on the phone was a constant habit. “Hey Mom,” I
began and then told her that I would not be able to talk long. It was a short call and I can’t remember everything we discussed but there is one thing she said that has been etched into my memory.
began and then told her that I would not be able to talk long. It was a short call and I can’t remember everything we discussed but there is one thing she said that has been etched into my memory.
“Things aren’t good,” she said as we were about to end
our call. Confused, I asked if it had to do with my brother and sister-in-law
whom she was living with at the time. She was vague in answering my question,
so I knew someone was in the room with her. “Are they sitting right there?” She
confirmed they were. I had to purchase my ferry ticket, so we ended our conversation.
It was the last “normal” phone call we had. A few days
later, on January 12, she was officially diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It
had already spread to her lymph nodes and there were two golf ball sized tumors
in her lungs. As soon as I could, I flew home to Kansas to be with her and my
four brothers as we took care of her and said our goodbyes. She passed away 12
days later on January 24.
For those whose lives are nearing the end, it is often said
that the things remembered most fondly are the ordinary and everyday events
spent with the special people in our lives. Oddly, these seemingly mundane life
experiences escape us in the moment, but after our loved ones pass – it’s those
things that we recall with great depth.
For me and my mother, those moments include peonies, Big
Macs and margaritas.
Peonies
My mother adored the big pastel colored peonies so much
that she planted what seemed like a dozen bushes surrounding our house. During
those early summer months when the flower was in full bloom, I would come home
to one light pink blossom in a blue vase (that I now have) on the dining room table. The sweet
floral scent that filled the air would always stop me in my tracks. That memory
will forever be ingrained in my mind.
Big Macs
I’m a sort of a food snob these days, but during my
teenage years when I was a back-sliding vegetarian, once a week my mom would
treat herself and me to a Big Mac after grocery shopping. We often would laugh
and talk – about what – I don’t remember. But the memory of us together in an
ordinary moment, rest gently in my heart (as probably the fat from those Big Macs I ate.)
Margaritas
As I grew into adulthood, we gave up the Big Mac’s and
switched to margaritas (on the rocks with salt.) But that is the only thing that
changed. We still laughed and talked – about what – I don’t know. But I remember
it as if it were yesterday.
For Mother’s Day celebration this year, I wish you all
mundane moments with your own moms this Sunday – so that you too can have
imprinted memories of ordinary days of a well lived life with those you love.
Happy
Mother’s Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment