Friday, May 11, 2018

Insight: Pecan pies and burnt marshmallows by Lorraine Glowczak

What do the smells of a freshly mown lawn and bonfire smoke have to do with Mother’s Day? Nothing directly, but those two smells I experienced this past weekend transported me back to moments in my past that evoked long forgotten but pleasant memories of my mother.

The smell of cut grass produced the recollection of drinking ice cold lemonade together and talking about nothing important after sharing the task of mowing our big yard with a push mower.

Although we didn’t have a lot of bonfires when I was a child, the few times we did, my mom and I would always have roasted marshmallows. We liked ours crispy and burnt.

As Mother Day approaches, many will celebrate and honor their Moms in a variety of fun and meaningful ways. But as life is – it’s messy and filled with imperfections that usually do not meet our preferred agenda on the way life should go. For me, as well as many others out there, our mothers have passed on.

For those of us in that circumstance we need not feel despair. I have chosen ways to celebrate, remember and honor her in my own little way.

But first, I would like to mention that everyone’s story is slightly different, so there are circumstances out there where grieving is necessary and healthy. If that is the case for you - go ahead and grieve. I hope next year’s Mother’s Day will be better for you.

I have chosen the following ways to start a new Mother’s Day tradition:

Make a pecan pie.
My mom had a sweet tooth and I inherited it. I have always loved pecan pie and instead of making a birthday cake for me, she would make my favorite dessert, inserting birthday candles in the pie.

Stay off Facebook and other social media.
When my mom passed, social media had just exploded as a form of sharing our “amazingly perfect” lives with all our “friends.” I suspect she’d think this mode of communication as pure silliness and would encourage me to reach out to others in person or by phone.

I will call my four brothers who live in other states.
Above all I do to remember her, this is the one thing that would “tickle her silly,” as she used to say. Having us remain loving siblings was her dying request.

Isn’t it amazing that the mind can recall fond memories of loved ones, especially during holidays and celebrations? And whether those recollections come through smells or small acts - it is almost as if they are here with us, if only momentarily.

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