Andy Young: 192-plus reasons for giving thanks

By Andy Young

Orange-purple sunsets. Dried apricots. Indoor plumbing. Selfless police officers. Brilliant autumn leaves. Refrigeration. Basketball. The Smothers Brothers. Rice Chex. Kind neighbors.

Public libraries. Generous colleagues. Long-distance phone calls. Wheat back pennies. Southern Maine Community College. Prunes. Apple cider. Grandparents. To Kill a Mockingbird. Bicycles.

Strawberry picking. Bowling alleys. Kindergarten teachers. School nurses. Butterflies. Cherry tomatoes straight from the garden. Cribbage. Role models of all ages. Jack Benny’s violin. Blue skies.

Summer rain. Dental hygienists. Paved bike paths. Low-maintenance houseplants. Stuffed animals. Refrigerator magnets. Fresh salmon. Tennis. The 1984 Alaska Goldpanners. The post office.

John Denver. Generic Wheat Thins. Living far from the equator. Family photos. Board games. Spaghetti. Snowplows. Goalie masks. Maple syrup. Genuine journalists.

Elevators. Spanish rice. Butte, Montana. Tina Turner. Anything written by Carl Hiaasen or Leonard Pitts, Jr. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. Loaded Questions. The 1969 New York Mets. Electric cars. Ramen Noodles.

Acadia National Park. The Baseball Hall of Fame. Kool and the Gang. Almond milk. Electricians. Flashlights. Oral history. Alfred E. Neuman. The two goals I scored playing intramural hockey in college. Exploding Kittens.

Amtrak. Bean boots. Blueberry picking. Landscapers. Jimmy Carter. The 1985 Durham Bulls. Golden kiwis. Yosemite Sam. The University of Maine. Applesauce bran muffins.

Snidely Whiplash. Rocking chairs. Thick soup. Fairbanks, Alaska. Oregano. Sharpies. Bobby Hull table-top hockey. Firefighters and first responders. Oprah Winfrey. Jeopardy!

Bus drivers. Welders. Crossword puzzles. Living indoors. Sunshine. Italian Ices. Angus King. The 1994 Butte Copper Kings. Fresh spinach. KC and the Sunshine Band.

Potable tap water. My three amazing children. Garlic. The Spinners. Haiku. The Red Cross. Multihued sunrises. Librarians. Mushrooms. Social workers.

Babbling brooks. Curbside trash pickup. Wavy potato chips. Boris Badenov. The New York Knicks (when Willis Reed was captain). Orange groves. Bigfoot-shaped air fresheners. Old baseball cards. Scenic overlooks. Bugs Bunny.

Short grain rice. Summer breezes. Islands in the Stream (the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers version). Cloth shopping bags. SpongeBob. Letters from former students. Ball Four. Apple Pie. Ice Cream. Apple Pie Ice Cream.

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Prosthetic hips. People with the same birthday as me. Bluefield, West Virginia. Pea picking. Schnecksville, Pennsylvania. Stewed tomatoes. The 1979-80 residents of UConn’s Lady Fenwick House. Sudoku puzzles. Pez dispensers.

My son’s vegetable stir fry. My mother’s spaghetti sauce. My mother-in-law’s ginger cake. My siblings. My cousins. Memories of my parents and grandparents. Phones that flash “Spam Risk” on nuisance calls. The Glory of Their Times. All my children’s teachers. Band-Aids.

The three-quarter-court shot I hit from the opposite foul line against the Atomic Moles. My older son’s soccer coaches. My daughter’s Taekwondo instructors. My younger son’s tennis coach. The men and women of the military. Surprise packages in the mailbox. Ocean State Job Lot. My Memorial University of Newfoundland backpack. Spring flowers. Extension ladders.

My 15-year-old-Pittsburgh Pirates pullover. My 30-year-old Raleigh IceCaps pullover. My 40-year-old UConn baseball pullover. The quilt my grandmother made for me, and that my sister rescued and repaired four-plus decades later. Warm winter days. Cool summer evenings. Crisp fall mornings. Disinfecting wipes. Living close to Canada. Guidance counselors.

Nature. Street hockey. Weird postcards. Upbeat waiters and/or waitresses. People who see the innate good in others and can look past their imperfections. Different color highlighters. Leaf rakers (as opposed to leaf blowers). Courteous drivers. Apple orchards. Bullwinkle.

My children’s friends. Baseball before designated hitters. Random kindnesses. Finding a quarter. Fredericton, New Brunswick. Coaches who know winning isn’t everything. Motels with free breakfasts. The Simpsons. People who say, “thank you.” Farmers.

Six hundred words a week to use however I please.

Discovering (yet again) that 600 words aren’t nearly enough to list everything I’m thankful for. <

Insight: Expressing gratitude not always easy

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

While I’m always grateful when someone does something nice for me, a recent attempt at doing a good deed at our home was more than a little perplexing. 

With my wife at school during the day teaching and myself at the newspaper putting together a recent edition on a production day, my stepson dropped by our house after getting off work to let our dog out in the backyard.

Spending a few minutes there, he decided that the yard needed raking after the long winter months and so he found a rake in the garage and quickly amassed five large piles of leaves and branches.

I had been waiting for a warmer day to do that task myself, so when I got home from work that afternoon, I was surprised to see some piles of leaves and twigs sitting in the yard.

Entering the kitchen, my wife Nancy proceeded to tell me about the piles and that I probably wouldn’t be happy with what he had done while raking.

She led me to the window looking out on the backyard and beyond into the neighbor’s yard and pointed out a pile of leaves and sticks sitting on the other side of the fence.

Apparently, he had decided to rake up a large pile of leaves, twigs, and branches and then toss them over the fence to show his displeasure at having to perform the task. We do not have any trees in our yard, and he figured that the leaves that had fallen onto our property came from the neighbors’ trees near the fence and that they should be responsible for picking them up. 

I went out to survey the situation up close and was horrified to see the huge pile of leaves that he had thrown there. If there was one thing that I was grateful for though, it was that he had told his mother that he had done that, and she had brought it immediately to my attention.

In my opinion, we somehow had to make the situation right, and it had to be done sooner than later.

I sent my wife over to the neighbor’s home to knock on their door and to let them know what had happened. As I began to rake the leaves into a manageable pile to transport back to our property, both of our neighbors came outside into their yard to talk with us.

Despite our utter embarrassment, they told us that they had so many leaves themselves it was hard to keep up with them, and that they had noticed the large pile when they had arrived home a few hours earlier that afternoon. They told us it was no big deal and to just let the pile go and they then laughed about what had transpired.

We apologized to them and I proceeded to drag the pile through a gate and into our back yard. By this time, it was nearing suppertime and Nancy and I decided to let the piles of leaves go until we could find the time to put them into bags for transport to the transfer station for disposal.

Turns out we had to go out of state that weekend for a funeral and the piles of leaves and branches sat in the back yard for a week.

On Sunday evening, my wife and I were able to bag up six large bags of leaves and extract them from the yard.

She reminded me that no matter what had happened, being grateful is about something someone has done for you and then expressing thanks for it.

Although my stepson was wrong to throw a large quantity of leaves over the fence, I texted him to thank him for his work in collecting and raking up the leaves in the first place.

In reflecting back upon the entire incident, I determined that gratitude for me was more than just expressing thanks for his help in cleaning up our yard. And I thought that gratitude doesn’t always come easy for me, especially when people do things that I didn’t ask them to do.

Expressing gratitude about incidents like this and similar ones that have happened over the years is truly about something that leads to a more sustainable form of happiness. Because I did not dwell on my unhappiness and embarrassment at having to retrieve the leaves from my neighbors’ yard and apologize for something someone else had done and then not yelling at or chewing out the culprit, I let it go and discovered a tangible peace of mind.

When all was said and done, Nancy and I laughed about the entire disconcerting episode, and she told me that she was happy that I chose to be grateful about the work her son had done for us rather than share my unhappiness with him for throwing the leaves over the fence in the first place and then arguing with him about it.

In my opinion, practicing gratitude shifted my mindset to a better place, created an opportunity to meet neighbors, clean up our yard and bring us all closer together. What could be better than that? <

Insight: Thoughts about personal gratitude

Olivia Carpenter, left, with her new baby brother,
Leon Thomas Carpenter, who was born Nov. 9
and weighed 3 pounds, 14 ounces at birth.
COURTESY PHOTO

By Ed Pierce

Managing Editor

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, which is a quality that continues to inspire many during the annual holiday season.

Early on, my parents taught me that Thanksgiving Day is about more than gathering with relatives, sharing a bountiful meal and laying in front of the television watching football.

To me, Thanksgiving affirms all the good things that have happened over the course of the past year and to recognize the roles that others contribute to providing goodness in my life.

Without further fanfare, here’s my list of things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving Day:

First, a miracle occurred just two weeks ago when Leon Thomas Carpenter was born in Danbury, Connecticut. After his mother was in and out of the hospital in the later stages of pregnancy this summer and into the fall, Leon made his debut as Grandchild #3 weighing in at 3 pounds, 14 ounces on Nov. 9.

After gaining a little weight in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where he had been since birth on a tiny breathing machine, Leon was sent home from the hospital last week where he joined his parents, Chuckie and Casie, and big brother Joseph, and big sister Olivia.

The fact that babies weighing so little can make it is simply a testament to the indomitable will to survive and to the medical staff’s skill and expertise in delivering a child so small.

Therefore, I’m grateful that our third grandchild has arrived and is gaining strength and weight with each passing day.

Second, to even be a grandfather for me personally is something truly remarkable. After being single for 14 years and rapidly approaching 50, an internet date at a Friendly’s Restaurant in Florida changed my life forever in 2004.

An elementary school teacher answered an ad that I had placed on a dating website, and we agreed to meet over a bowl of ice cream on a weeknight in May. The fact that she even chose to reply was nothing less than a miracle as I did not have a photo posted with the ad and it only listed the city I lived in, my gender, and my age.

But fate has a funny way of working it out sometimes. That date turned out to be the best one I ever had, and we mutually agreed to see each other again the following week. After several long phone conversations, she informed me that she was going to undergo cancer surgery and I probably wouldn’t want to date her as a result.

But being a cancer survivor myself, I was compelled to share my experience with her and to help her through the process of chemotherapy and radiation. Slowly she got better following the surgery and by Christmas, she came to stay for the holidays and never went home.

We were married in Cleveland, Ohio in June 2005 as she attended her youngest son’s high school graduation and suddenly at the age of 51, I found myself as the stepfather of three grown young men all at or near their 20s.

I’ve watched as these three young men have embarked upon careers, moved into new homes and now in oldest stepson Chuckie’s case, have begun to raise a family.

And to think it all started with meeting a person I didn’t know previously answering an internet dating website ad almost two decades ago. If you think that’s not something to be grateful for, you are wrong.

The life of a journalist since 2004 has taken me from working for a daily newspaper to an online newspaper startup to working for a weekly paper in Florida, then a move north from Florida to a daily newspaper in New Hampshire and eventually moving again to Maine for work at a daily paper in Biddeford, retirement, and then coming out of retirement to work for a weekly paper again in Windham, Maine.

My family has seen my career go from a news reporter, copy editor and sportswriter to community sports editor, managing editor, executive editor and now Managing Editor of The Windham Eagle. And the one constant during all of that transition has been my wife, Nancy, and my three stepsons, Chuckie, Brian and Danny Carpenter.

My life has been fuller because they are in it and now in my role as “Grandpa Ed,” yet another chapter has dawned for me. Therefore, I’m grateful Nancy took the time to answer my internet ad because it made my life complete and a new world opened as I experienced what it is like to be a parent and now, a grandparent.

Lastly, this Thanksgiving I’m also grateful to have reconnected with so many of my high school classmates and friends at our Rush-Henrietta High School 50^th Class of 1971 Reunion in Rochester, New York during the weekend of Oct. 29.

I was able to tell classmates I have known for 55 years or more how much of a difference they made in my life and how much I continue to treasure their friendship and encouragement despite the passing of five decades.

It’s said that in daily life, we seldom realize that we receive more than we give and that through gratitude we discover that our lives are richly blessed. In my case, it’s so true. <

Andy Young: What is there to be thankful for in 2020? Plenty!

By Andy Young

Special to The Windham Eagle

By any reckoning, 2020 has been a terribly trying year. But Thanksgiving isn’t for reflecting on life’s imperfections; it’s for consciously acknowledging what we’re truly thankful for. I try to keep that in mind when listing the multiple factors, tangible and abstract, that I truly appreciate not just this week, but every day of the year. Pandemic-related travel restrictions altered our large extended family’s traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner this year, but the fact we were able to hold it electronically is yet another blessing to count.

I’m thankful for having a loving and healthy family, a meaningful job I truly like, and being allotted 600 words with which I can publicly express my gratitude.

I’m thankful for my car that gets 55 miles per gallon, for reduced-sodium vegetable juice, and for my son’s cooking.

I’m thankful for memories of past Thanksgivings at my grandparents’ house, which included visits with Chief Squanto (my peace-pipe-smoking, blanket-clad grandfather); turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, pearled onions, plus my mom’s apple pie for dessert; watching some team beat the Detroit Lions; and turkey soup and sandwiches that night. I’m also grateful for parents who didn’t make us eat those nasty turnips Uncle Eddie insisted on having every year.

I’m thankful for the three-person interviewing team at Kennebunk High School who, individually and collectively, took a chance on a 44-year-old novice English teacher who applied for a job there nineteen years ago.

I’m thankful for dried apricots, stewed tomatoes, and anything written by David Halberstam or Carl Hiaasen.

I’m thankful for my house that’s warm in the winter, but cool in the summer. 

I’m thankful I live where I’ll never step on a fire ant or a poisonous snake while walking barefoot. I’m also thankful for having the good sense not to walk barefoot outside!

I’m thankful for all the wordless smiles I’ve shared with people I’ve never seen before, and likely won’t ever see again. 

I’m thankful for neighbors I can talk and laugh with, used bookstores (as opposed to used bookstores; who wants to buy an old store?), and fresh spinach. 

I’m thankful for every word of encouragement I’ve ever gotten from friends, colleagues, or total strangers.

I’m thankful every time I hear someone, but particularly a young person, say “please” or “thank you.”

I’m thankful for my children’s past, current, and future great teachers.

I’m thankful for students who stop by after school not to angle for a higher grade, but because they truly want to improve their literacy skills.

I’m thankful for cold milk, bike rides, and curbside recycling.

I’m thankful for individuals who sincerely enjoy my attempts at humor, even on those rare occasions when I’m not really all that funny.

I’m thankful for friends and relatives who write, call, e-mail, or invite me to dinner every so often just because.

I’m thankful for having a sister who found the ruins of the long-lost baseball quilt our grandmother hand-made for me over five decades ago, quietly had it reconditioned, and presented it to me years after I had thought it was gone forever.

I’m thankful for having a brother whose phone calls never come at inconvenient moments, even though he lives 12 time zones away.

I’m thankful for garden-fresh cherry tomatoes, raw almonds, and You Tube videos of the Smothers Brothers.

I’m thankful I still have the copy of Go Dog Go that says “Merry Christmas, 1963” in my mom’s handwriting inside the front cover.

But I’m most thankful for learning while constructing this essay that when it comes to counting my blessings, 600 words aren’t even close to being enough. <

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,

In Times of Need
This morning I picked up a check for $400 for the Backpack Meal Program from Stephen Napolitano at Dairy Queen. I want to publicly thank him and the multitude of businesses, organizations (religious and other) and the many residents of our communities who have stepped up and supported this Program that helps so many. We may be keeping our social distancing, but you are quick to respond, and I can't begin to tell you how much that response is appreciated.

I need to add the following reminder because we need to remain a wonderful caring community and "Even though we are in a pickle right now, remember we are not the only pickle in the jar"
This is a tough time for all but worse for some. Be kind to those people who are going to work so that the rest of us can go to the store and buy what we need. Remember they are not the reason that some items are not available, and they also have families at home that are counting on them staying safe and not bringing the virus home with them. Be thankful to our Public Safety personnel, Police, Fire and other people who are out there serving us at their own risk.

Remember to show our gratitude and stay safe for yourself and your families.

Always grateful,
Marge Govoni
Backpack Program Coordinator

Insight: Ways to be grateful when you don’t feel like it

By Lorraine Glowczak

Ready or not, the Holiday Season is upon us. As for me, I am ready … for the most part. It is fairly easy for me to be ready since my family in Maine consists of my husband and my dog.

Although we may not be a typical American household and we won’t be sitting around the table with our larger, extended families who live in the Midwest, the three of us are doing good. We are healthy, well-fed, live in a warm home and have many caring and loving friends. We feel grateful, joyful and content. However, this is not always the case for everyone during the holidays.

The celebrations. The bright lights. The carols of good tidings and great joy. The ideal “Norman Rockwell” family gathering can all be overwhelming. The perfection expected of the holiday experience can come crashing down on us making the feeling of gratitude difficult to muster. In fact, some might have difficulty coughing up a sincere “thank you” no matter how hard they try.

First - for those of you who have lost someone special, I want to take a moment and recognize your grief. My wish for you is that the pain you experience will lift sooner rather than later.

For those who may be experiencing other challenging circumstances or whose families are either miles away or estranged, being grateful during a time of celebration and thanksgiving can be difficult.

I have researched some ways in which we can reach deep into our pockets and pull out a “thank you” when it is not easy to do so. Here are some ways I found that may be helpful. You or I may not be able to utter the words of gratitude but, perhaps, shift the feelings of such:

·       The first suggestion I came across was, “stop focusing on the negative and stop complaining for 21 days.” According to psychologist, it takes 21 days to learn a new habit, retraining the brain and the way you approach and view things in the world. I have never tried the 21-day challenge – so I don’t know if it will work. But it wouldn’t hurt to try it if you’re up for it.

·       Upon waking or just prior to going to sleep, think of just one thing you appreciate in your life. During an especially difficult time in my own life where I faced certain financial challenges, I did this. Some days, the only thank you I could muster was; “I’m grateful for this warm cup of coffee.”

It worked for me. Although the difficult circumstance remained for a year or so, my gratitude shifted my life and I felt better – even during the most difficult moments. Did life continue in a “rainbow, roses and everything is beyond perfect” manner?  Of course not. Life is life. Yang begets Yin. Love begets hate. Truth begets dishonesty. And, perfection is often found in the imperfection.

·       Being okay with your “non-traditional” life.

Most of us don’t live that Norman Rockwell family and existence. Whether you are a single parent, live alone or must dance to a weird family dynamic – remember that you are not alone. In fact, there are more people like you than you think.

·       If you don’t have family, create a “fremily” (friends who are family). Don’t force it. Go with those who are your “kindred spirits”.

These are the people who are most like you. (Although I can’t make any promises. The odds are that if you are authentic, tell the truth to yourself; you will find your “friemly-those kindred spirits who live life much like you.) I have hosted these gatherings and thoroughly enjoyed the non-traditional get-togethers.

In fact, at one fremily get-together, I invited one of my husband’s co-workers who was alone for Thanksgiving. We didn’t know each other that well but enjoyed each other’s company so much that a year later, we travelled to Italy together. Next summer in 2020 – I will be a bridesmaid in her wedding.

·       My all-time favorite suggestion came from a Real Simple magazine article. It recommended, “For Pete’s sake, stay off Pinterest.”

It’s true for me. Not only for Pinterest, but Facebook and other social media connections. These sites give the impression that others live the perfect, happy life with friends and family. Most of these posts and photos do not reflect with honesty, a personal reality. Like the time I took a photo of a ‘loving and happy’ couple just moments before they had a not so little spat.

Don’t compare your life with others’ misleading life presentations. In fact, most often, if they are presenting a perfect life. They have more challenges than you. I know this because I probe too much – discovering the truth of said “Facebook postings.”

I hope this small list is helpful in some way as we dive into the holiday season. Just remember, in little over a month it will be a new year with new possibilities of change ahead. Maybe that’s something to be thankful for.

Insight: “Thanking” outside the box

By Lorraine Glowczak

This is an early week for the newspaper, arriving in your mailboxes on Wednesday - just in time before we celebrate the day of thanks. Tomorrow most of us will be sitting around the table enjoying the usual turkey fixings with friends and family; taking the opportunity to share our gratitude toward our loved ones – and for life itself.

Now that the holidays are about to go into high gear with decorating, shopping, family gatherings and holiday parties, we might begin to feel overwhelmed - so much so that we will forget the gratefulness we felt at Thanksgiving.

But we should not despair if we neglect appreciation during these stressful moments as we try to create the “perfect” season of merriness. You – and I - certainly do not need to add guilt to the package that comes with the holiday busyness.

We all know the benefits that come with feeling grateful; benefits such as improving physical and mental health, reducing aggression, enhancing empathy and improving self-esteem. But there seems to be more. I recently learned two things about gratitude. First – more is not necessarily better. 

According to Psychologist, Dr. Amy Gordan, “people who tracked their gratitude once per week were happier after six weeks, whereas those who wrote and tracked their gratitude three times per week were not.”

Secondly, I discovered that if one consistently expresses or feels gratitude on a weekly basis, it changes the chemistry of the brain – and the benefits can last over time.

In an article entitled, “How gratitude changes you and your brain” written by Psychology Professors, Dr. Joel Wong and Dr. Joshua Brown, research indicates that gratitude can train the brain and be long lasting. Wong and Brown tested nearly 300 adults, mostly college students who were seeking mental health counseling at a university and discovered the following:

 “When we compared those who wrote the gratitude letters with those who didn’t, the gratitude letter writers showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude in the fMRI scanner. This is striking as this effect was found three months after the letter writing began. This indicates that simply expressing gratitude may have lasting effects on the brain. While not conclusive, this finding suggests that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude down the line, and this could contribute to improved mental health over time.”

So, if you miss a whole week and the grateful feelings escape you, no need to panic. Scientific findings indicate that the attitude of gratitude is long lasting and will carry you through the rough holiday spots.

And speaking about those rough spots. I’d like to “thank” outside the box and remember those who may be experiencing the holidays without a loved one or are facing some form of hardship. If this is the case for you, I promise not to tell you to “count your blessings” as I wish to respect your grief.

So, whether you are in a “full throttle ahead” holiday spirit and the stress causes you to forget to be thankful or if grief is your journey this year, remember that studies indicate that past spoken gratitude will carry you for a while. And for that, I am grateful.

Insight: The importance of gratitude and grace

By Lorraine Glowczak

At a workshop luncheon I attended recently, the facilitator offered a few guidelines on what makes a great leader - whether that leadership comes in the form of family, career or community volunteer efforts, she stated that the “rules” apply to all. The facilitator referred to the “ABC’s of Leadership”. At this gathering, we focused on 1) Accountability, 2) Be real and 3) Commitment.

It was the accountability topic that caught my attention the most. I always knew that accountability

meant accepting responsibility for one’s actions but as we discussed the details further, I learned that it also entails: trusting in others and others in you, not making assumptions, setting the example, saying thank you - and meaning it.

As we were about to discuss the “thank you” portion of accountability, the facilitator’s phone alarm sounded. “Oh! I apologize,” she said as she shut the alarm off. “That’s my gratitude reminder.”

Not only was I surprised by the synchronicity of the alarm as it coincided with the subject but the fact this leader makes a concerted effort, setting time aside every day to be thankful for things and people in her life. And, it’s not even Thanksgiving, yet!

Although, I never set an alarm, I do try to speak words of thanks during my most human and disgruntled moments to remind myself how truly lucky I am. It really does wonders in shifting me out of my humdrums. In doing so – it also alters my response to the world and people around me in a positive and graceful way.

It is no secret that we as a nation have become radically divisive and angry. We’ve become rude with each other, throw insults as if they were candy, make assumptions without knowing all the facts – and are incessantly ungrateful for the dedicated work of others. I don’t know about you, but this both baffles and saddens me.

I don’t have any real solutions to this issue, but I wonder what would happen if we all (or at least a majority of us) tried gratitude on a daily basis.

In a 2017 Business Insider online article written by Chris Weller, he tells the story about Sheldon Yellen, the CEO of Belfor Holdings, Inc. Yellen started composing handwritten birthday cards to thank his employees for their efforts and dedication after he was hired by his brother-in-law. He knew the employees felt he was being given special treatment, so Yellen decided to turn the perception around. He’s been doing this for 32 years and now writes over 7,000 handwritten birthday cards. 

Weller writes: “Over time, the gesture has made for a more compassionate, gracious workplace, Yellen said. People feel appreciated and reciprocate those good feelings outward. Some managers have even taken up the habit themselves to write cards for their team members, clients, and loved ones. Other CEOs may consider the gesture frivolous or a waste of time, but Yellen is quick to disagree. He said his experience has taught him that the value keeps coming back in spades. ‘When leaders forget about the human element, they're holding back their companies and limiting the success of others," he said. "Focusing only on profit and forgetting that a company's most important asset is its people will ultimately stifle a company's growth.’”

But I would stretch Yellen’s comment further by adding – without gratitude towards one another - a community’s growth, a nation’s growth - is stifled.

Author and mental strength trainer, Amy Morin writes that grateful people are more likely to behave in a prosocial manner even when others behave less kind, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. “Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge,” Morin wrote.

Professor Dr. Kerry Howells is well known for her academic research on gratitude. She’s been on Ted.com and has written books and blog posts on the subject. She shared this story:

“When I was a visiting scholar in South Africa a few years ago, I was privileged to learn much about the role of gratitude in Zulu culture. The Zulu people have so many stories transmitted orally from generation to generation about the importance of gratitude and so many rituals where gratitude needs to be expressed. If one did not express gratitude, they would be considered uncivilized or even barbaric. Gratitude is what gives grace to the Zulu culture.” (www.kerryhowells.com/what-happens-if-we-forget-gratitude/)

If a simple thank you is what gives grace in the Zulu culture – wouldn’t the same be true for the American culture? I’m not a Ph.D. who has studied the results of gratitude, but I would like to believe that being grateful would have some positive effects and make constructive changes in our society.

I suppose the only way we can find out, is by experimenting with our own lives. Let me start now by thanking you – our readers who love us and thank us for our efforts. And, a thank you to area businesses who trust and support us in distributing the community, positive and solution based newspaper. Thank you! Seriously. I mean it. You are the ones who make my day – and you are graceful, civilized leaders in the truest sense.

Letters to the Editor

Dear Editor,

I wanted to thank Senator Bill Diamond (D-Cumberland), for demonstrating tremendous leadership recently in supporting LD 211, “An Act to Open Maine’s Primaries.” While the measure ultimately did not gain enough votes to pass, it’s important for us to recognize that Sen. Diamond once again showed that he represents ALL of his constituents, not just those who share his party affiliation.

LD 211 would have allowed unenrolled voters (commonly referred to as “independents”) to vote in the taxpayer funded primary elections. Thirty-five percent of Maine voters are unenrolled and under current Maine law are not permitted to vote in the primary elections, elections that decide 70% of state legislative races.

With 80% support from Maine voters, it’s clear that eventually unenrolled voters will be allowed to vote in primary elections, just as it happens in 36 other states around the country.  

Thank you to Sen. Diamond for being on the right side of this issue!

Matt Caston

Windham

Dear Editor,

Ranked Choice Voting is used in every federal primary and general election in Maine except for the presidential election. The Maine Legislature is considering a bill, LD 1083, that would remedy this and align Maine’s election law with the intent of voters.

LD 1083, commonly called “the Ranked Choice Voting for President bill,” would adopt RCV for the presidential general election and for any new presidential primary that is created and funded by the Maine Legislature.

Twice in two years Maine voters have rejected the old pick-one, first-past-the-post voting system and replaced it with Ranked Choice Voting. In November 2016, Maine voters adopted Ranked Choice Voting by the second largest initiative vote of the people in Maine’s history. In June 2018, Maine voters protected Ranked Choice Voting by a widening 8-point margin.

We are one state. We should have a uniform voting system. That system should be the one that is supported by a growing majority of Maine voters, Ranked Choice Voting, and not one that is opposed by a majority of voters, the old pick-one, first-past-the-post voting system.

LD 1083, introduced by Senate President Troy Jackson, proposes a simple expansion of Maine’s existing RCV voting system that worked well in 2018. 

I encourage my former legislative colleagues to vote in favor of LD 1083. Ranked Choice Voting is simple, fair, and easy, and we need it in the 2020 presidential primary and general election.

Jane Pringle

Windham

Insight: A zeal you cannot contain

By Lorraine Glowczak

Memorial Day has passed but its reason for being still hangs on the tail ends of my consciousness this early Tuesday morning – the day after the Memorial Day parade and celebrations.

As we all honored the men and women who died while serving in the military on Monday, I hope the purpose of the day always remains with us. Not only out of respect of our veterans, but so their lives – and death – were not in vain.

I’m not advocating that we always hang our heads low in constant sadness and melancholy. In fact, to do so would feel dishonorable to me. (Of course, there is a time and place for such.) For me, to respect our veterans is to live my life passionately and on purpose with intense focus while working together with others to serve the needs of my community in some way.

That’s the way I always hope to live but there are many times when I let being human get in the way of my idealized goal. When I feel as if I may be faltering a bit, I look for a bit of inspiration. Presently, I’m reading a book entitled, “Life's Bulldozer Moments” by Donato Tramuto and find his words are putting a bee in my pants, motivating me to keep moving forward.

Tramuto is a healthcare innovator and global activist who has worked closely with Saint Joseph’s College as they launch their Institute for Integrative Aging (that includes the Silver Sneakers® program).

Although he has always been a success, Tramuto has been on a fast-track to this focused purpose for 18 years and he lets nothing stand in his way. It was a close call, or what he terms a “bulldozer moment” that sparked his intensity for life.

He was scheduled to be on Flight 175 – the plane that hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center on that dreadful day - September 11, 2001. However, due to a toothache, he rescheduled his flight. His close friends and their four-year-old son who were to travel with him, did not change their flight.

From that experience, he realized life can never be taken for granted and you never know when your time is up – so get on with it amid a zeal you cannot contain.

In my role as writer and editor, I witness this zeal for life among many community members right here in Windham and Raymond. In the midst of the many challenges we face, there are still those who exist - whose individual passion and focus are catching while they integrate it all.

In just one week, I saw that zeal in Mindy Zink’s eyes when I interviewed her for the front-page story. I witnessed it in Sen. Diamond when I shadowed him for my State House series and I felt it with the Windham Christian Academy students as they celebrated Red Nose Day.

So, if you are anything like me and you need a bit of kick in the pants to keep moving forward – all you need to do is look around.

After all, we are obligated to maintain the freedom our veterans have died for. In this case – the freedom to live intentionally, passionately with focus and a zeal you cannot contain.

Insight: The science of gratitude

By Lorraine Glowczak

Snow turns the world into one huge outdoor adventure for my dog, Zarah. She prances, runs, eats it and sticks her nose as far into the snow as she can. The fact that she is unable to speak my language, her joyful play makes it obvious how grateful and happy she is.

A happy dog in snow

The snow this past Friday was no different, but I noticed something that I hadn’t observed before. Once the newness of the snow wore off, Zarah let the beagle in her take over and began sniffing out the voles that make their home under the snow. At one point, her nose and head were buried so deep in the snow, intent on catching her prey that she missed an easy catch as a vole popped up from the white ground behind her and ran in a hopping manner toward the woods.

Smiling, I remember the times I was so intent on reaching for a goal that I missed what was right before me. They say feeling grateful helps to correct narrow vision, at least that is what Annette Bridges suggests in this week’s quote, “Gratitude helps us to see what is there instead of what isn’t.”

Thanksgiving reminds us to be grateful for those things we have, and in doing so, it helps us see those things we often miss throughout the year. There is some evidence that being thankful on a daily basis contributes to psychological health and makes us more joyful.

Before I continue, I think it is important to recognize that the holidays can be a time of sadness and anxiety for some who grieve what is not there (family, friends, etc.) The absence of these things cannot and should not be easily dismissed nor the feelings associated with those absences. If this is the case for you, may there be some peace in your heart as you go through this holiday season.

But, for the typical, everyday experience, Harvard Health online states, “Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

A Science Daily article concurs with the above findings. “Numerous studies show that expressing and experiencing gratitude increases life satisfaction, vitality, hope, and optimism. It contributes to decreased levels of depression, anxiety, envy, and job-related stress and burnout. Perhaps most intriguing is that people who experience and express gratitude have reported fewer symptoms of physical illness, more exercise, and better quality of sleep.”

But if you are still not convinced that being thankful plays a role in a more joyful life, you can perform your own study. You don’t have to be a traditionally trained scientist to discover if these findings are true for you. Test it out. Try gratitude for a certain amount of time and – see what happens.

Now, back to the gratitude experienced by my dog last week. I’m curious how grateful she might be about the snow if she had to shovel the sidewalk.

From our home to yours…..Happy Thanksgiving.

Child's innocence invokes gratitude

By Lorraine Glowczak

The rain was coming down exceptionally hard Tuesday afternoon as I was driving to the polls to vote. Wishing the monthlong rains would give us a break, my grumpiness with the weather melted when I stopped for an oncoming school bus as it stopped, letting out four young students. As they skipped in front of the bus, their laughter and carefree chatter made me crack a smile. As I did, my first thought was, “They are our future and one day it’s possible I might be voting for one of them.” I kept that thought in mind as I voted and slid my ballots into the voting machine.

I love children and the lighthearted way they leap through life. I think it is safe to say that most

people have a soft spot for the youngsters in our lives and will do most anything we can to protect them. In fact, it is among one of the many reasons why we vote. The greatest action taken to protect children, is the safety and freedom we all receive from those who join the armed forces. This brings me to this Sunday, November 11 - Veterans Day.

Most of us prefer peace over war, especially because of the children – here at home and abroad, but sometimes war is inevitable. It is for this reason I wish to take a moment to say, “thank you” to all military members, past and present. There are several unique ways we can show our gratitude for those who must leave their families and/or give up their life so the rest of us can live freely, providing a future for our children in a secure environment. If you wish to find a way to actively show your gratitude, I found a few of the following ideas:

If you know a veteran, offer your services such as with home repair, cooking, running errands, etc. If you don’t know a veteran, check in with the Windham Veterans Center and I’m certain they can connect you with someone in need.

Give donations to homeless veterans shelters or make a donation to Preble Street Veteran Housing Resources. FMI: Call 207-956-6556 or email at vhs@preblestreet.org. Windham Veterans Center also takes donations for homeless vets and will distribute them as needed. Since winter is just around the corner consider giving coats and emergency rain ponchos.

Support a military family who may be missing a loved one stationed elsewhere. Make meals, mow the lawn, help with grocery shopping, or simply provide emotional support. By supporting a veterans' family, you're showing respect for all the sacrifices they make.

Support the businesses that support our military. Many restaurants and stores offer promotions on Veterans Day to military members and their families.

But most importantly, would you join me as I do my best to continue showing my gratitude after Veterans Day ends? I, for one, will always be reminded to say “thank you” whenever a child’s laughter echoes within my presence. Afterall, isn’t that one motivation why we wish to keep our world safe? Thank you!

Insight: Ways to be grateful when you don’t feel like it by Lorraine Glowczak

Ready or not, the Holiday Season is upon us. As for me, I am ready for the most part. It is fairly easy for me to be ready since my family in Maine consists of my husband and a dog. 
 

Although we may not be a typical American household and we won’t be sitting around the table with our larger, extended families who live in the Midwest, the three of us are doing good. We are healthy, well-fed, live in a warm home and have many caring and loving friends. We feel grateful, joyful and content. However, this is not always the case for all of us during the holidays.

The celebrations. The bright lights. The carols of good tidings and great joy. The ideal “Norman Rockwell” family gathering can all be overwhelming. The perfection expected of the holiday experience can come crashing down on us and the feeling of gratitude is difficult to muster. In fact, some might have difficulty coughing up a sincere “thank you” no matter how hard they tried.

First - for those of you who have lost someone special, I want to take a moment and recognize your grief. My wish for you is that the pain you may experience will lift sooner rather than later.

For those who may be experiencing challenging circumstance or whose families are either miles away or estranged, being grateful during a time of celebration and thanksgiving can be difficult. 

As a result, I have researched some ways in which we can reach deep into our pockets and pull out a “thank you” when it is not easy to do so. Here are some ways I found that may be helpful, if not to utter the words of gratitude but perhaps shift the feeling of such:

·         The first suggestion I came across was, “stop focusing on the negative and stop complaining for 21 days.” According to psychologist, it takes 21 days to learn a new habit, retraining the brain and the way you approach and view things in the world. I have never tried the 21-day challenge – so I don’t know if it will work. But it wouldn’t hurt to try it if you’re up for it.

·         Upon waking or just prior to going to sleep, think of just one thing you appreciate in your life. During an especially difficult time in my own life, I did this. Some days, the only thank you I could muster was, “I’m thankful for this warm coffee.” It worked for me. Although the difficult circumstance remained for a while, my sadness actually started shifting and I felt better.

·         Being okay with your “non-traditional” life. Most of us don’t live that Norman Rockwell family and existence. Whether you are a single parent, live alone or must dance to a weird family dynamic – remember that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect there are more people like you than you think.

·         If you don’t have family, create a “fremily” (friends who are family). I have hosted these gatherings and thoroughly enjoyed the best of both worlds. In fact, at one fremily get-together, I invited one of my husband’s co-workers who was alone for Thanksgiving. We didn’t know each other that well but enjoyed each other’s company so much that a year later, we travelled to Italy together.

·         My all-time favorite suggestion came from a Real Simple magazine article. It recommended, “For Pete’s sake, stay off Pinterest.” It’s true. Not only for Pinterest but Facebook and other social media connections. These sites give the impression that others live the perfect, happy life with friends galore – most of which does not reflect, with honesty, their personal reality. Don’t compare your life with others’, sometimes misleading, presentations

I hope this small list is helpful in some way as we dive into the holiday season. If not, well, I wish you luck anyway. In little over a month it will be a new year with new possibilities of change ahead. Maybe that’s something to be thankful for.