Insight: Lessons in humility

By Ed Pierce
Managing Editor

I recently had a long discussion with my wife Nancy about letting go of an obsession I have developed throughout my life with how an individual in my family constantly blamed me when I was a child for just about everything wrong with her life.

No matter if it was a phone call informing my family that I had neglected to turn in an envelope on Sunday containing my weekly 25-cent donation to the church or the fact she couldn’t take me anywhere because I liked to talk to people and “children are meant to be seen and not heard,” somehow any negative issue that arose in her life was attributed to me. It has led to a lifetime of fear of criticism and an apprehension about making mistakes that impact others.

Sometimes what I perceive as affixing blame is truly just an attempt to make conversation, yet my self-filter wants to interpret that conversation as a reason to blame me.

I stopped living with that family member decades ago and her wanting to blame me for every bad thing that happened to her was her shortcoming, not mine. But on occasion through nothing more than sheer habit, I find myself thinking that a person is trying to blame me for something wrong when it’s not the case at all.

As a sportswriter for many years, I always enjoyed interviewing role players, those who clearly understood their weaknesses and limitations while taking steps to learn from others and improve. It often led to more success in games for them and a longer athletic career.

In my career working for newspapers, I have had many great editors and bosses who possessed the trait of humility, prompting them to be more willing and open to new ideas while at the same time being empathetic, forgiving, and compassionate for those who work for them. The way I see it, exhibiting humility is something that drives us to better relationships with others and most importantly, makes us less likely to take criticism personally and be less defensive.

When you get right down to it, humility is the building block and foundation of teamwork and a springboard for greater self-awareness and self-reflection that leads to positive growth for us.

As a child, I wondered why asking that family member for help with a homework problem resulted in a burnt cake. Over dinner when asked why the cake burned in the oven, the answer was given that it was my fault because I distracted that family member when she should have been paying closer attention to the cake as it was baking. She told me I had no sense whatsoever in the kitchen and would always be dependent on others to cook meals. She vowed never to teach me anything about cooking and she kept that promise as I grew up. Yet, when visiting me during my graduation from college, that same family member told my wife and friends that she was astounded that I cooked Sunday dinner because I “never took any interest in cooking” as a child.

Or another time that family member raved on and on for days about how I ashamed her by telling my third-grade teacher that two of my grandparents emigrated to the United States from Poland during a class about ancestors. Even though it is true, she blamed me for giving neighbors reason to look down upon our family because of “questionable heritage.” And she said nobody would have known about that “disgrace” if it wasn’t for me and my big mouth. Years later she told me I should be proud of my ancestry because Pope John Paul II was Polish too.

On a field trip to the Museum of Natural Science while in the sixth grade, that family member accompanied students from my class as a chaperone along with a few other parents. That day it happened to be raining, and she brought an umbrella on the field trip. I had walked through the entire museum and was sitting on a bench near the entrance when she walked up and sat down next to me with her umbrella in her hand. For some reason, I asked her if I could have 5 cents for the gumball machine near the entrance door to the museum and she became enraged, slamming the prong of the umbrella tip down roughly onto my sneaker on my right foot. The umbrella tip went through my canvas sneaker, through my sock and broke the skin on the top of my foot. When I screamed out in pain, she told me to shut up, and to stop crying because I was embarrassing her. She said that if I hadn’t opened my mouth with a stupid question, I wouldn’t have been hurt by the umbrella prong.

The passing of time does not diminish my feelings about those incidents. Discussions like I had with Nancy about my perceptions of blame have given me keen insight into why I sometimes act or behave the way that I do. I now realize that humility is based upon self-awareness, an appreciation of others, being open to feedback, and acceptance of my past.

Insight: While I was busy making other plans

By Lorraine Glowczak

It was late fall, 2013. My transcripts were being analyzed by a University of Southern Maine counselor as I looked on. I only had about 24 credit hours left to obtain a bachelor’s degree.

“I don’t care if it’s in underwater basket weaving – I just want to accomplish this before I turn 50,” I told her.

With that in mind, the counselor proposed three possibilities that would help me finish my long sought-after education before I entered my fifth decade. I only remember two of the three degree choices she proposed.

“Leadership and Organizational Studies is one option,” she began. “Or…. you could get a degree in journalism/communications. That might be a great option for you since your writing skills indicate you might fare well in the industry.”

Since I had been an active leader in several organizations in Portland at the time, I opted for Leadership and Organizational Studies.

“Besides,” I told her. “I am a creative writer, not a reporter. I will never go into journalism.” 

Ironically, the leadership program turned out to encompass a writing intensive curriculum and improved my writing skills immensely.

There is the saying that goes; “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.”

Here I am seven years later, signing off as editor of The Windham Eagle newspaper. So much for not walking in the field of journalism.

For the past four years, I have put my heart and soul into this weekly media news source. I believe in its mission to provide ultra-local, positive, and solutions-based news to the readers of Windham and Raymond. I also believe I have taken it to its next step – giving it character and energy. But I must admit I have taken it as far as I can.

This is where Ed Pierce can take it from here. Mr. Pierce, with his 45 years of experience in the field of journalism, will propel The Windham Eagle to the next level. Very seldom do I see life as black and white but in this instance, I am convinced that Mr. Pierce is your man. (For his full story see the front-page.)

Although I am signing off as editor, I am not signing out completely. Whether you like the energy I have given to The Windham Eagle or not, I am still here none the less and will continue in my personal creative flare as a writer. I will also be busily at work on my book of essays and helping to co-author a book on leadership.

But – I cannot sign off without sharing my gratitude. This is where tears blur the words of appreciation as I write my last Insight.

I have gained friends along the way that include reporters Elizabeth Richards, Matt Pascarella and Walter Lunt. I have also gained a kindred-spirit with reporter, Briana Bizier who I have relied upon to edit my future book of essays (manuscript to be completed in September).

I will sorely miss being teased about my shoeless office attire by Gerry Collins and the quiet, friendly smile of Don Perreault that greeted me in the mornings. I’m saddened to say goodbye at a distance to Ben Parrott, Tricia Griffin and Karen Mank whom I haven’t seen in eight weeks, as they have been working remotely since March 16. 

Then, of course, there is the phenomenally amazing Layout Editor and Ad Manager, Melissa Carter. I have never loved working with anyone more than her. I would have never been able to pull off the production of this newspaper without her creative expertise and our collaborative efforts. 

There are, of course, the Publishers Kelly and Niels Mank (and the four Mank ‘assistants,’ Keith, Kaila, Brandon and Brian) The Manks have supported me in so many ways it is impossible to list everything. They put their trust in and believed in me more than I believed in myself. If it were not for them giving me this opportunity, I would not have had the confidence to become the writer I’ve aspired to become.

I must not forget you - our readers who encouraged me to follow my dreams. “You need to write a book of essays based upon your ‘Insights,’” I’ve been told by some. Or as one supportive reader once urged, “Have you started writing your book yet? You need to get on it. What’s taking you so long?”

As much as I never thought I would enter the field of journalism, I did not think I would be saying goodbye as your editor today. But life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

Ed – take it from here.

Insight: What is this world coming to?

By Lorraine Glowczak

As we celebrate our mothers this Sunday, May 10^th, we will do so in our own ways, depending upon individual circumstances and situations. I will be one of those daughters who honors her mother with memories – having done so since her passing eight years ago.

I have many fond recollections that include her love of peonies, her excitement when something good happened in her life or the lives of her loved ones, and - when I became adult – her love of sitting down with me for margaritas on the rocks with salt at her favorite Mexican restaurant.

But one memory that is making a deep impression on me today are the times my mother worried unnecessarily about me or the world in general. One question she posed often and continues to echo in my mind is, “What is this world coming to?”

She would often reference that question to the worry she carried within her about how people treated one another – and at times - the concern about the youth – whether the future held a bright promise for them (and thus her children). I, of course, dismissed her concerns as any know-it-all and highly idealistic daughter would. “We are going to be fine – just fine,” I often told her.

If Mom were alive today, I suspect she would wonder with more intensity and frequency what the world is coming too. As I walk into my own middle-age, that question begins to bubble up in my own psyche from time to time. However, just as I am about to give up on the world, there is always something that – or someone who - converts my unnecessary worry and judgment about the status of the world into joy and trust of a beautiful life that exist now with an even better future in store.

In the four years at The Windham Eagle newspaper, meeting and interviewing many people in the community, I have been reminded time and time again that although - yes, these are crazy times (always have been and most likely always will be) there are also so many delightful and exquisite surprises that still remain.  

The most recent “savior” in my glass half-full perception shift is 9-year-old Byron Davis of Windham and his family. (See front page for story at http://frontpage.thewindhameagle.com/2020/05/byrons-bloom-bombs-explode-with.html ). This innovative young student has made a huge impact on the world around him by the simple gesture of giving away over 900 homemade paper seed discs to essential workers that include everyone from medical staff to grocery store cashiers.

Although his mission is to serve a specific group of individuals, what this third-grade student may not realize is that this seemingly minor act creates a ripple effect beyond his targeted goal, touching individuals far and wide, including this small-town newspaper writer.

No matter what this world is coming to, with all the Byron Davises that dot this big round globe, how can one be discouraged? How can one worry about our future?

They say what you focus upon becomes the reality in your life. I have never claimed to know the whole truth or to own the copyright on it, but my curiosity has the best of me. What would happen if we dedicated our thoughts to ways we could improve the world for others – and in doing so, improve our own lives.

If my mother had the opportunity to meet or to know of Byron, my guess is that she might still ask, “What is this world coming to?” But instead of asking the question out of concern, it would be in the form of a statement that carries with it a peace of mind.

Perhaps the greatest honor I could offer to the memory of my mother, is to forever be changed by the act of one person. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Insight: Finding a compromise

By Lorraine Glowczak

Every week since COVID-19 swooped in and wreaked havoc on so many lives, my Insights have reflected my thoughts as I witness and experience a typical day during this new normal. But as I sit down each week to pen a new editorial, I promise myself to write about a subject without mentioning the pandemic.

However, the writing muse that has been assigned to me since birth has always had her own agenda and there are times, we butt heads. Today, I have argued with her for over five hours. “I am taking a break from this topic and taking a break from it NOW! We are going to write about something else,” I demand. She laughs. Just as I begin to cave into her impulses – I ask for a compromise. She agrees.

Last week I received a letter to the Editor from a woman who lives in Alabama. Very seldom do we receive a note from so far away, so I opened the letter with suspense. The author was the secretary to the American Rosie the Riveter Association. She herself was a “Rosie” and she wrote to say that the organization is looking for more “Rosies” around the U.S. to join them with the mission to collect names, stories, etc.

Being one who loves a good local biographical story, I do hope they (and we) get a response from those in the Windham and Raymond communities. (Please reach out to me if you are a woman who worked during the WWII effort or you know of a woman who did.)

In February of this year, I met with and wrote an article about Raymond resident, Teresa “Tess” Ingraham who was presented the Boston Cane on January 30th. Without realizing it at the time, Tess was a “Rosie”, but we didn’t discuss that part of her life much. In the article she had stated that immediately upon graduating high school in 1940, she had worked at S.D. Warren in the main office. She explained most of the products made at the company went toward the war effort.

She also spoke about what it was like living during World War II. “It was really a scary time and we did without a lot,” she began. “Because many products went toward the war, each family was allotted a certain number of coupons because the supply was limited. These coupons were distributed by the government and would allow us to purchase things like sugar, shoes, clothing, etc. and if you didn’t have a coupon when you needed something – you did without.”

What struck me the most about Tess’s story, is how she was willing to compromise for the betterment of all. “We simply worked together because that is just what you did,” I remember her telling me.

The History.com website refers to the WWII effort and compromise Tess spoke about: “This fear of attack [on Pearl Harbor] translated into a ready acceptance by a majority of Americans of the need to sacrifice in order to achieve victory. During the spring of 1942, a rationing program was established that set limits on the amount [products] consumers could purchase. The United States Office of War Information released posters in which Americans were urged to “Do with less–so they’ll have enough” (“they” referred to U.S. troops).”

We are currently living during a very scary time and the pandemic has instilled a fear in all of us – for a variety of reasons. Recently, there have been more divisive opinions on how to achieve a victory over COVID-19 with no compromise in sight. How did people of the WWII era come to a certain level of conciliation? What could we learn from them? Can we do with less so that others can have enough? Can we find a civil way to honor both human and economic life?

I do not have the answers, and probably never will. After all, I just discovered how to compromise with my own writing muse. But if that is possible, I must say - anything is.

Here’s to hoping we find a compromise.

Source: https://www.history.com/topics/world-war-ii/us-home-front-during-world-war-ii

Insight: When life returns to normal

By Lorraine Glowczak

“It’s ironic that you are the extrovert and you work from home all day without ever leaving and I’m the introvert but leave the house, talk to people and go to work every day,” my husband told me as he was getting ready to head out the door. We both laughed, because the paradox between our personalities and present life circumstances is true beyond measure.

After our laughter subsided and we returned to living life in ways that do not align with our individual quirky traits, we did our best to not let the cumbersome routines that have become the new ordinary get the best of us.

One of those new routines includes my participation in Zoom video conferencing. I have meetings and gatherings approximately three or four times per day. This online platform can come in handy as it temporarily satisfies my sociable nature.

However, the other side of the Zoom coin has posed a bit of an issue for me. When I see myself staring back from the flat laptop screen, I try to avoid eye contact with that person at all costs. The woman peering back at me does not look familiar. In fact, I have no idea who she is. Who is that woman with a saggy neck, drooping jowls and wrinkles on her forehead? I knew she had gray hair – but the rest of it surprises me.

How is it that I didn’t notice the beginning stages of elderhood? It looks like there is another new ordinary creeping in and I can’t say I’m jumping for joy at the prospect.

There is a saying often written or spoken by individuals who practice Zen philosophy. “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of that statement and understand it only on a surface level – until perhaps now. Thanks to that old lady on the computer screen – and the Pandemic which forced me into the world of Zoom.

Although there are slight variations to the chop wood/carry water wisdom, one interpretation teaches that mastering your thoughts and perceptions allow you to appreciate the extraordinary miracles in ordinary daily life. By mastering your thoughts, you are not chopped by the wood and carried by the water anymore.

If I must accept this ordinary life of an aging soul, then I will take the bull by the horns and conquer the heck out of it. I will master my perceptions of old age – or at least I will give it a whirl by remembering the attitude of a 98-year-old women I read about recently. The story goes something like this: She told her doctor that when she was younger, she looked like Elizabeth Taylor. When the doctor told her that it must be difficult for someone who was once that beautiful to have aged, the woman responded “What do you mean? Am I not still beautiful?” Yes, I want to be like her.

I know that when the pandemic is over and everything returns to normal, many of us, including myself, will come out on the other side with different perspectives and appreciating things, events, and people we took for granted before. But what I am now learning is when things return to normal – the normal is going to be different. The ordinary will have greater meaning.

Yes. I will still be an extrovert. Yes. I will still use Zoom. Yes. I will still age. But my perception of it all will have changed. I will not regard my adventure into aging with disdain. When things return to normal, I will have learned to chop wood and carry water with the best of them.

And, when that old lady looks back at me during a Zoom conference call and begins to judge the shifting tides of my skin, I will look directly in her eyes and respond, “What do you mean? Am I not still beautiful?”

And believe me – that personal shift in perception is one big extraordinary miracle!

May you also experience your own miracles when life returns to normal.

Insight: Beautiful Interruptions, part two.

By Lorraine Glowczak

C.S. Lewis once stated; “The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life.”

Clive Staple Lewis was a British writer and lay theologian best known for his “The Chronicles of Narnia” and “Screwtape Letters” books. He questioned much of ‘real life’ during his early years and it was not until he was in his thirty’s that he began to see all of life’s splendor, even in the midst of – and despite of – its darkness.”

In a previous Insight published in September 2019 entitled “Beautiful Interruptions”, I wrote about
and used this famous quote by Lewis as I described a typical ‘real’ life day of my own.

Yes, I had (and continue to have) plans that were and are constantly being interrupted, but I was also able to count all the adventures as a result of the everyday intrusions. What I didn’t know seven months ago is that there would be a much more potent interruption taking place today. For me, the current events are a simple but an irritating distraction – but for others the current times can be a traumatic event based upon individual circumstances. Is my ideal of “beautiful interruptions” still beautiful today?

To be honest, the dust hasn’t settled yet for me to have clear vision for that answer - but I suspect that I (and perhaps many others) will be able to uncover something special – something beautiful when it is over. But until then, what?

WebMD offers the following guidelines and helpful suggestions for those who may be going through exceptionally distressing times:

1) Face it and don’t avoid it. “As tempting as it may be to try to ignore a traumatic event….facing your feelings head-on is important because you want to be able to take care of them in a way that helps you move forward.
2) Don’t isolate yourself. (Obviously, this advice was published before self-isolation was a thing.) But seriously, we have many opportunities with online chats, FaceTime and Zoom that make it easy to connect with others. Don’t have access to the internet? Phone calls still work. And, I actually received an old fashion handwritten note through snail mail last weekend. It made my day! Write a letter if you must – just stay connected with loved ones and friends in whatever way you can.
3) Exercise and meditate – As WebMD states, experts say these two things are one of the most effective ways to handle the stresses we are experiencing today. But, also, be gentle with yourself. “Don’t force things, though. If you’re tired, it’s OK to rest.”
4) Keep a routine – If there is anything I have learned through all of this is keeping some sort of routine. Researchers at Tel Aviv University state that predictable, repetitive routines are calming and help reduce anxiety. Routines help you have some form of control of your day and subsequently, your life. For me personally, a daily and weekly routine has been a lifesaver.
5) Celebrate life – Even the small and ordinary are causes to celebrate during stressful times. Did you take a shower? Celebrate. Did you get out of your PJs? Celebrate. (Did you just giggle? Or crack a smile? Celebrate).
6) Turn up the music - British dramatist William Congreve stated, "Music has charms to soothe a savage beast." And – while you are at it – dance too.

So, is today’s exceptionally weird interruption as beautiful as I thought they were seven months ago? Darned if I know. But while we experience temporary unpleasantness, we might as well “face it head on” and dance, celebrating life in small ways. And when this is all behind us – maybe for a majority of us there is the correct assumption that “we will realize how little we need, how very much we actually have, and the true value of human connection.”

If this is the outcome of today’s circumstances, then yes, once the dust settles – I believe the current conditions will be judged as a beautiful interruption. Until then? Make your own beauty whenever possible. Write a letter, turn up the music and dance away….in your PJs!

Insight: Clear as mud

By Lorraine Glowczak

It’s been four weeks now – but who is counting? 

It took me two and ½ weeks into the self-isolation journey to really settle into this “new”, albeit temporary, way of life. In the beginning, while working in my makeshift home office – I felt scattered and unable to focus. I was multi-tasking beyond my normal quota, and as a result, rarely efficient at completing any one task competently.  

Once I was able to transition into being more focused and grounded, I faced more changes as one “new normal” slipped away to make room for something completely different, requiring another innovative adjustment.

Luckily, I have always been the optimistic sort and it especially comes in handy these days. Or does it? “Work hard, stay positive and don’t let fear take away your focus”, I tell myself often. “Everything happens for a reason and transitions are just a part of life.”

The last part of that sentence is definitely true. Life is full of transitions. Much like death and taxes, you can’t stop change. And change is stressful. In an article written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychology, she addressed the topic of transitions like this: “Some of these [transitions] are predictable, such as graduating from high school at about age 18 (obviously this was written before March 14^th), and some are completely random, such as having a tree fall on your roof during a storm.”

Well, we have collectively had one huge tree fall on the roof of lives – and boy has it ever been challenging. One way some of us, namely me, get through these challenging times is to tell ourselves that everything happens for a reason.

What is ironic, however, is I tend to be a philosophically rebellious sort and, considering the current situation, I’m beginning to protest my own optimist nature. Not that I’m abandoning it altogether, because there is a valid place for enthusiasm. Sometimes, optimism can only act as a band-aid to a wound that requires much more healing – and, again sometimes – it can often harm rather than inspire those who are facing incredibly difficult circumstances such as we are facing today.

And – this is where all of this is clear as mud to me. Wanting meaning for why we are dealing with this, I search to find answers.

One book I read about two years ago was entitled, “Everything Happens for a Reason (and other lies I’ve loved)”. The author is Kate Bowler, an Associate Professor at Duke Divinity School who was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at the age of 35. She has stated that she had everything she ever wanted - professorship at an Ivy League College, a happy marriage to a high school sweetheart, and after a long period of infertility, she gave birth to a son. But when she discovered that there would be the possibility of an impending death, taking all she worked for and dreamed of away, her views changed.

In a 2018 Ted Talk, Bowler stated the following: “Americans believe in the gospel of optimism. It’s a mindset that has served me well. It drove me to achieve, dream big, to abandon fear. It served me well – until it didn’t.” All she knows for certain now is “….life is really beautiful and life is really hard.”

Bowler admits to not having found a reason for her cancer diagnosis and can offer no magical formula to healthy living, but the one thing she has experienced from it all is a profound tenderness and passion for others and all of life. This gives me hope.

You know what else gives me hope? The profound tenderness and passion I’ve witnessed in our two Sebago Lakes communities since this world-wide pandemic began. (Need an example? Read the two front page articles in this week’s edition).

I don’t deny that a bit of “snippiness” is happening among us from time to time. Let’s just be okay with it knowing that things are a little unusual right now. But observing the more positive actions among us, it balances my optimism, making it more authentic in response to today’s circumstances.

Although life right now, and the reason why the pandemic is happening, is still clear as mud to me, I can at least rest in the certainty that life is extremely hard – and life is incredibly beautiful.

I promise to hand in there if you do!

Insight: The indestructible nature of the human spirit

By Lorraine Glowczak

What can I offer to you, our dear and faithful readers, that hasn’t already been said?

I have asked this question every Wednesday at 2 a.m. on publication day for the past three- and one-half years as I prepare each week to write this editorial. But I have never once imagined I would be faced to write an “Insight” during times like these.

With all the uncertainty we currently face, most are experiencing anxiety, vulnerability, fear and isolation in ways that has never been experienced in recent years. I have no previous knowledge in such matters and am flying by the seat of my pants into unknown territory and have no words of wisdom to impart. So, I turn to more wise and talented writers before me who could possibly guide me through the current challenges and mysteries of life we are experiencing now.

The first author that comes to mind is that of a young German-born writer from the Netherlands. Anne Frank. If there is anyone who exuded the indestructible nature of the human spirit during difficult times – it was (and remains) Anne Frank.

As I write this, I am entering into my third week of self-isolation – not so much for myself but to prevent the potential spread of the virus onto others. Although I haven’t lost my mind yet, some days I wonder how much longer I can remain cloistered in my small 900 square foot home with my husband and small dog – without going bonkers.

Anne, on the other hand, lived with eight other people in an approximately 450 square foot apartment (the secret annex) for two years. Anne and the rest of the group lived in hiding with the constant fear of being discovered and could never go outside. They had to remain quiet during daytime in order to avoid detection by the people working in the warehouse below.

With this in mind, what words would Anne have penned if she were alive today? What poetic and hopeful advice would she have shared? Of course, one will never know, but she did offer the following bits of wisdom in her diary that could be useful to us now as we face our own fears in uncertain times:

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”

“I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.”

“I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains”.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

“No one has ever become poor by giving.”


“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”

“Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that 'a quiet conscience makes one strong!'”

“As long as this exists, this sunshine and this cloudless sky, and as long as I can enjoy it, how can I be sad?”

The fact is, we don’t know how long this pandemic will last. We don’t know how many local and small businesses will have to shut their doors. We don’t know how long we will have to socially-isolate. We don’t know how much we ourselves will be affected by this virus (financially and physically) and we don’t know how many more people will die. But if we can, from time to time, grab onto Anne’s indestructible and resilient spirit, we will get through this. I believe if we can just hang in there, we will get to the other side of chaos with strength of character – even if it means awkwardly holding on to ideals that appear to no longer apply.

Is it possible that if we can become a part of the indestructible nature of the human spirit that Anne exemplifies, we can rise above the fear, anger, sadness and anxiety – even if for a moment?

When this time is behind us and I look back, I hope this was the path I had taken and did not let the insanity that is currently knocking on the peripheral edges of my mind suck me in. Wish me luck. And for you, our dear and faithful readers, I wish the best during these unusual and difficult times. I hope Anne offered you as much optimism and faith as she has given me.

Insight: Laughter is STILL the best medicine

By Lorraine Glowczak

“We’re feeling stir crazy,” a friend of mine said in an email recently. “My son had a meltdown on Monday because he wants to go back to ‘real school’. Then I had a meltdown because I want him to go back to ‘real school’, too!”

I don’t know if it’s because I’m on the verge of insanity myself, but her note produced in me my customary “throwback head” laughter. After my belly chuckle subsided, I realized it was the first time I laughed like that in two weeks.

Surely I’m not the only one who could use a little reprieve from this highly unusual anxiety ridden time. As the saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” but is laughter appropriate in circumstances such as this?

In an Online Forbes Magazine article, entitled “Laugh Away the Apocalypse with these 15 Coronavirus Memes,” staff writer, Abram Brown quoted Adam Padilla who is known for his creative work with funny memes. Padilla expressed his thoughts about joking in the midst of this horrible pandemic.

“Humor is helping us get through this. It’s about keying in on the common threads that all we have in our new lives.”

Hara Estroff Marano, Editor of Psychology Today, states that laughter reduces pain, increases job performance, connects people emotionally, and improves the flow of oxygen to the heart and brain. She also said that laughter reduces pain and allows us to tolerate discomfort.

I think it is safe to say there is a lot of emotional pain and discomfort happening these days.

As far as I’m concerned, a dose of laughter every day will, if anything, heal our spirits and lighten our thoughts so we can live life as normally as possible, whatever normal is now.

One new normal that has popped up overnight since the coronavirus has halted our lives is the current memes that you see on social media.

Online dictionaries state that memes are a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users.

The following are a few examples of memes as they relate to the current COVID-19 virus.

Stay safe, exercise often and be sure to get your daily dose of hilarity. After all, laughter is STILL the best medicine – especially in today’s circumstances.

Insight: Valuable lessons learned from the past

By Lorraine Glowczak

Do I even touch upon THE inevitable subject of today? Or should I dance around the larger than average-sized elephant in the room to give us all a break from the daily barrage by not mentioning THE virus?

As much as I want to give myself – and you – an occasion away from it all, I’ve decided it would be irresponsible of me as a writer if I completely ignored and didn’t address this highly unusual time we all are experiencing. Although I will not dig deep into the subject of the coronavirus, I will lightly tap into it with the intention to cheer your heart and provide a bit of hope.

I will start with words of wisdom from Tom Mockaitis. He is a professor of History at DePaul University where he teaches World Civilizations. He has this to say about our current situation: “The pandemics of the past offer valuable lessons. First, in all probability COVID-19 will not come close to the severity of any of the great pandemics. We have far more knowledge and resources to prevent infection and treat this disease than did our great grandparents in 1918. Second, fear continues to be as contagious and debilitating as the disease itself. Considerable evidence suggests that COVID-19 is not particularly lethal to healthy people.”

I don’t know about you – but I feel slightly better by his uplifting words. In fact, Mockaitis says it all in his first sentence: “The pandemics of the past offer valuable lessons.”

One day, after we have all survived the present moment, this experience will one day be in the past. We have an opportunity right now – today - to be an example for good and offer a valuable lesson to future generations,

As I write today’s Insight (Wednesday, March 18th) it is my mother's birthday. If she was alive today, she would have been 91 years old. It goes without saying I miss her deeply and I especially miss our talks. I wonder what advice she would offer me today - in light of recent circumstances. I suspect that since she has been through the Great Depression, she would be slightly concerned about the present situation but would know, from experience, all will turn out well.

I can’t be certain what lessons she would impart on to me as we face this very unusual time in our generation but, based upon our talks in the past, I believe she would have offered the follow pep talk:

• There is always enough to go around. And if there is not, humans are innovative and creative so don’t let your anxieties get the best of you.

• Family and friends are most important. In fact, when you believe you have lost everything – you realize how much you have gained. Communities come together in times of misfortune.

• There is a big difference between what you want and what you need. Yes, we all would like the latest in material objects – but they never replace things and memories like the sharing of warm fresh bread out of the oven lathered with melted real butter.

• We need each other to be happy. Protect your family – and your community at all cost. They really are all you have. And when it comes down to it – it’s really not about you. If don’t have community? What good is that?

• But above all the hardships is love. And hope. And laughter. And family.

Those are the lessons I belive my mother would have shared with me if she was alive today. And in honor of her – I will share her valuable lessons of the past on to you. Be well!

SOURCE: https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/487111-what-we-can-learn-from-past-pandemics

Insight: As the snow melts

By Lorraine Glowczak

The warm sunny weather we’ve been experiencing the past few days has put a spring back in my step and I’m loving every minute of it. Although I do receive snow with open arms during the wintertime of the year, I’m just as happy to see it go as we head fully into March.

However, as the snow gently recedes and melts away, it slowly exposes the trash in the ditches along

the roads I travel. This brings back a memory from my childhood.

I was six years old in 1971 when Keep America Beautiful, Inc. produced its anti-pollution campaign. It was probably the best-known and most guilt-inducing public service announcement at the time. It’s the commercial staring actor, Iron Eyes Cody as a Native American shedding a single tear at the sight of a trash-filled and smoke laden landscape.

The words in the ad go something like this: “Some people have a deep, abiding respect for the natural beauty that was once this country and some people don’t,” states a narrator in a baritone voice. 

Apocalyptic music follows as someone tosses a bag of half-eaten fast food out the window of a passing car. It lands and scatters at the actor’s feet. He looks forlorn into the camera as the tear rolls down his cheek. The narrator continues, “People start pollution. People can stop it.”

Without a doubt, this commercial made a massive impact on my six-year-old psyche and I became an environmental activist – well – at least for an hour after I saw the ad and until something else caught my attention. Eventually the commercial stopped running and although I never became an activist in the traditional sense, you will never catch me throwing trash out the window of my car. That tear really made its mark on me. But more accurately, I do love the natural environment that Maine has to offer, and I would like to preserve it as best as I can.

In about one month - on Wednesday, April 22, we celebrate the 50th anniversary of Earth Day. Whether you have been deemed an official “tree hugger” or not, we all have a certain responsibility to the environment if we wish to maintain the life we have now.

It really does not matter whether you are a conservationist, or you simply enjoy the Maine outdoors, it behooves us all to assume a certain obligation to not mess up our own back yards. Our actions do not have to be big, profound, or impressive (but if they are, contact us and we’ll write about you!).They can be simple everyday actions that work within our everyday lives.

One small action I have done in the past happened during my morning walks. I took a trash bag with me and pick up garbage thrown along the side of the road. I would have to stop every two or three seconds, and the trash bag was completely full in less than a ¼ of a mile.

Just as I was beginning to feel I was making a difference; I would then notice more trash reappear after a couple of days of having not walked. This brought back my memory of “the lone tear.”  

Although it seems I’m trying to save the Earth, that’s really not what I’m doing at all. I’m selfishly saving my own butt and the way I have become accustomed to the joys of being in nature.

If there is any truth that the planet is a self-correcting system then it would seem that the earth, in all its natural intelligence, will adjust just fine. Humans, however, don’t adjust so well. We love things to remain the same and we fight change with all our might.

Whether it’s four-wheelin’ in the countryside you enjoy or a nice meditative stroll through a forest path – we all want the same thing – for the beauty of nature and all it has to offer to remain as we know it.

Comedian George Carlin once said that the planet itself will be just fine. It will just “shake us off like a bad case of fleas” to free itself from the object causing its pain. I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to be shook off the planet just yet.

So, this may be selfish (again) on my part, but would anyone out there be interested in joining me in self-correcting trash habit behaviors? Here’s the deal. Starting today, I will stop buying plastic coffee to-go cups. If you see me with one, I will owe you coffee.

If you join me, then perhaps next spring when the snow melts yet again…the roadways will have less trash. And perhaps, somewhere, someplace, somehow.....there will be less tears…less fleas.

Insight: The Boogie Woogie Tribe of Bozos

By Lorraine Glowczak

“Our ancestors were not bigger than the animals they took down most of the time or faster than the animals they took down most of the time, but they were much better at banding together into groups and cooperating. This was our superpower as a species We banded together. Just like bees ought to live in a hive - we ought to live in a tribe. But we are the first humans – ever - to disband our tribes. And it is making us feel awful, but it doesn’t have to be this way.”

This is what journalist, Johann Hari, had to say in his 2019 Ted Talk regarding his research on unhappiness and loneliness. Although I am not an expert in the field of psychology, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the writing on the wall. The feeling of isolation has become such an issue in today’s western societies that the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a “growing health epidemic” and in 2018, Britain appointed a Minister of Loneliness to help combat their own “epidemic”.

There have been moments in my own life when I have been without a tribe and Hari is right, it felt awful. But, for the most part, I have always landed among a group of people who I could always call my own – a group where I can ban together with others to face challenges bigger than I could manage alone. One friend of long ago once said that she had finally found her “boogie woogie tribe” referring to those of us in her group. Since then, I have borrowed her phrase when I find myself among a relaxed group of friends where my loud laughter and personality quirks are accepted as endearing attributes.

There are many complicated reasons why there is an increase in loneliness and since I do not have the credentials to identify them, I can’t offer professional solutions. I can, however, share a bit of what I have learned from my own experiences at having walked through the land of isolation.

One contributing factor to my own past self-imposed seclusion was the result of holding myself to unrealistic standards - feeling as if I didn’t quite measure up or was not “perfect” enough to quite fit in. But eventually, I grew a little wiser and realized I’m just like everyone else. I’m not the only one who carries imperfections. As another friend told me just the other day, “We are all just bozos on the bus.”

I recently came across an article written by author, Elizabeth Lesser. She had this to say about the expression, ‘bozos on the bus’:

“I have co-opted the phrase and I use it to begin my workshops, because I believe that we are all bozos on the bus, contrary to the self-assured image we work so hard to present to each other on a daily basis. We are all half-baked experiments-mistake-prone beings, born without an instruction book into a complex world. None of us are models of perfect behavior: We have all betrayed and been betrayed; we've been known to be egotistical, unreliable, lethargic, and stingy; and each one of us has, at times, awakened in the middle of the night worrying about everything from money to kids to terrorism to wrinkled skin and receding hairlines”

So, if you are lonely and isolated because you don’t quite feel you measure up, remember Lesser’s words of wisdom. And if there are other reasons for your loneliness, and you are capable of getting out of the house, perhaps a few of the following guidelines can help you get over that hump and find the tribe you so deserve:

*Hang out with like-minded people by joining a club or taking a class to develop a hobby.

*Try volunteering as it connects you with the community around you. There are so many organizations that need volunteers, you are bound to find something you enjoy.

*Participate in your favorite sport.

*Write down your thoughts to process your emotions and get a clearer idea where your head is.

*And, of course, there is no shame in reaching out for professional or pastoral help.

Just remember, we are all bozos on the bus and, if loneliness is where you are now, perhaps small steps will eventually lead you to your perfect boogie woogie tribe of half-baked-mistake-prone bozos.

Sources: www.feminist.com/ourinnerlives/inspiration_lesser3.html

www.au.reachout.com/articles/10-things-to-do-if-youre-feeling-lonely

Insight: My first step

By Lorraine Glowczak

“Try to remember these things - drive a different way to work, read a book you wouldn’t normally gravitate towards, or experiment with a new interest….but whatever you do….promise me you will never get stuck in a rut,” my seventh and eighth grade social science and English teacher reiterated to me and the rest of his students, over and over again.

I was reminded of his wisdom this past weekend as my husband and I, while spending time at a friends’ home on Little Sebago Lake. Not only was it the Sebago Lake and Cumberland County Ice Fishing Derby but there were many ice-fishing hobbyists on the lake who were enjoying the weekend fishing for togue, grilling sausages and hamburgers and spending time with friends and families as their dogs romped in the snow.

During my afternoon walks with my own four-legged mutt on the frozen freshwater, I watched the Maine tradition unfold before my Kansas born eyes. The relaxed faces sitting around a perfectly round hole in the ice would invite me to spark up a conversation or two.

“Have you caught any fish, yet,” I would inquire. “No,” was always the answer. But it seemed it didn’t matter to them whether they had succeeded in their endeavor or not. It was the experience, the relaxation, the change from the regular routine of life that seemed to be what they were after.

I have absolutely no experience with fishing, but I would love to give this Maine tradition a whirl. Perhaps it’s the result of my teacher’s not so subtle suggestion of long ago, but I have always been motivated to learn and grow – to try something new that isn’t a part of my everyday experience. 

Whenever the opportunity arises to explore beyond my usual routine, I grab it by the tail and off I go.

But I must admit, adulthood and the demands of everyday life sometimes has me going in circles and I often feel overwhelmed. I know that if I continue in this pattern, I will be disappointing my middle school English teacher.

Leadership Development Consultant, Kristi Hedges believes that chronic overwhelm is one of the most serious challenges we face in today’s workforce – impacting everything from productivity to health.

“When we’re on the hamster wheel of overwhelm, we get in a heads down, stressful rut of trying to get it all done each day before we drop. We do little to inspire ourselves or to tap into our own creative energy.”

If you, like me, also fee a little “ruttish”, Life Coach, Tom Casano makes the following suggestions:

Ask people close to you: When you feel stuck, oftentimes you just need a new perspective or a shift in your thinking. Ask your best friend or family member what they think. 

Brainstorm: Make a list of every idea that comes to mind without judging it, even if it’s the worst idea ever. After your “brain dump”, go back and revise your list. Let some fresh ideas come to you. AND….Try Something New

Casano reminds us that Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Try doing something new, even if it’s small. Getting unstuck is all about taking some baby steps to start moving forward again towards what you want. So, take the first step.

My first step? Purchase an auger.

Insight: Stumbling through life

By Lorraine Glowczak

I’ve mentioned it before in these weekly editorials and I am going to say it again. I enjoy getting to know the many amazing people who live in our community. I meet so many individuals who work hard, give more than they have and strive to make a positive change in the world. This week, I was fortunate to meet two Saint Joseph’s College students - Adrienne Dolley and April Benak (see article on the Front Page for their story).

As a result, I often make new friends who land into my lot of kindred spirits. “You are my soul sister, lady!”, one interviewee told me with zest two years ago after we met for the first time.

That person was Stephanie Lay, the owner of Maine Tex Grilled Salsa. (Read her story at www.frontpage.thewindhameagle.com/2018/03/like-summer-in-jar-maine-tex-grilled.html)

And soul sisters it turned out we were. We would sit on the dock by the lake, gather from time to time for laughter over a couple of beers when our busy schedules would allow. It was our busy schedules, however, that got in our way too often.

“It’s never going to slow down for us – so let’s get together again soon,” was the last thing she said to me on a phone call three weeks ago. As many know, she passed away unexpectedly this past weekend.

This isn’t the only sadness we have experienced in the Sebago Lakes communities. We have also heard about the tragic story of Sarah McCarthy. Although I never knew her, I know of people who did. It’s been a tough week of grieving for many of us.

Much like I stumble onto new friendship, I sometimes stagger in my approach to sorrow - both for myself and in the being there for others. Where does one begin to help people who face devastating loss? It’s never easy to know how to be there or what to say. Even if we’ve experienced tragedy ourselves, grieving is a bit like snowflakes - each person’s process is different. Although it is my tendency to stumble through life, floundering through the territory of grief can have detrimental effects on those we care about.

If you, like me, hope to support those who need it most, I have found a list of helpful ways that may assist us both during times like this. The following is a list of suggestions printed in Harvard Health Publishing from Harvard Medical School:

Name names. Don't be afraid to mention the deceased. It won't make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It's terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation.

Don't ask, "How are you?" Instead try, "How are you feeling today?"

Offer hope. Be careful about being too glib, though. Instead of saying something like: “Everything happens for a reason,” perhaps say something like: "You will grieve for as long as you need to, but you are a strong person, and will find your way through this."

Listen well instead of advising. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don't be quick to offer it. Frequently, those who are grieving really wish others would just listen.

Avoid judgments. You may wish he or she would move on, but you can't speed the process or even ensure that it happens. Let your friend heal at the pace that feels right and in his or her own manner.

It may seem ironic coming from someone who attends church almost every Sunday, but I’m not much of the praying type. But if I was asked to utter one prayer as we all slide through days of sadness, it would have be “The Clown’s Prayer”

“As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more cheer than gloom, spread more cheer than despair. Never let me become so indifferent, that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child, or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged. Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them happy, and forget momentarily, all the unpleasantness in their lives…..”

Source: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving